Yeah, you...you heard me. You're all a bunch of cheapskates. I recently visited a different board of similar subject matter. Upon arrival, many of the existing clan offered freebie smokes for my enjoyment. But when I hopped on board here a couple of months ago did I get any offers? NOOOOO! Instead I got treated like a rookie puffer, and no one even snickered at my feeble attempts at wit. Shame on all of you... If you'd like to make restitution, I am currently accepting donations of Padron Aniv, Opus X, and any real Habanos. Ashton VSG would be OK, too, if you have nothing better. But don't think that this will make me like all of you. I'm not that easy... You can send all donations to: 1313 Cheapbastard Rd / Ihavenopride, Iowa 99999. As Bob Marley once said: "Stir it up..."

I only have a box of Habanos Cohiba Esplendidos for you, I hope it's acceptable, oh yeah, I'm sending it in a Mercedes SLK stretch limo and it's getting delivered to you by the Playboy Bunnies, feel free to keep the car, the driver and the women 🙂 Happy Herfing 😉

Why do all cheapskates live in Iowa?

What's in it for us?

The cohibas and the women are a nice touch, but I'm more of a Porche man myself. As for the Iowa address, that's just my dream home location. Currently, I live in Hope Arkansas. For some strange reason, the real estate is amazingly affordable there (but the cigars taste funny....)

Can't get something for nothing,so what are you willing to trade on? I'm sure you can do better than those little old cheap cigars your asking for? perdom reserve ,camarroom maybe?

How do you like aurturo fuentes,Habana golds,CAO camarroons? If you don't mind me asking? I see you like the cohiba's.

Probably nothing but some old plugged off brands.

People the whole thing is a scam, and you bought it hook line and sinker? Happens all the time. Last week on the "I've a big bottom" board, someone came flying in, saying was given free buckets of lard from the "I don't care what kind of hot dogs you eat" board, and soon there were offers flying in to give him grease soaked bread and day old frying pan fat. One guy even offered to deep fry his Thanksgiving turkey in his huge vat of fat, by which he lowers the turkey in it via pulley.

Hmmm.... Now what exactly was it we bought? Personally, my skates were rather pricey.

It was a scam!? Damn it! I already sent that limo with the cigars and women! It cost me a fortune and now some schmuck at 1313 Cheapbastard Rd / Ihavenopride, Iowa 99999 is going to get them delivered to him. Whoever lives there probably doesn't even smoke cigars! Ah man, I just realized that that address DOESN'T EVEN EXIST and I didn't write a return address! What a waste of money. This is the last time I send things out to people to be polite. 😉

Received the smokes via the limo today! Thanks for everything, but I have some complaints regarding the woman who delivered these. Beautiful, yes, but I'm not into the whole silicone breast thing. And every time I kissed her I couldn't help but notice that she had a huge adams apple....hmmmm. And she smelled like Old Spice for some reason. Other than than, and her deep voice, she was a knock out. Heck, she even carried me back into the house after our night of drinking and smoking. What a woman!

You are more than welcome 🙂 The adam's apple that Veronica had on her throat is really a collagen implant in her lips that was put in loose and slipped down into her throat. It's a bit unsightly, but take it or leave it, you gotta admit, she's one hell of a drinker and smokes a cigar till she burns her fingers. Rumor has it that she is impervious to pain... Anyway, you're welcome, happy herfing!

I saw the thread title and thought you guys were looking for me.
nevermind
Wazoo

Haha!

I was going to say they named a thread after me, but I'm 22yrs late for that joke

Dude 2000 was 22 years ago ya makin me feel aged like I was put in the back of the cooler and forgotten.

But Sob if you need a welcome package I'll hook you up.

Tailgator was a complainer even 22 years ago.

No such measure needed, thank you kindly