An off duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone

within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture

of his license plate. The officer thinking the radar was in error, drove by again,

even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower

speed. Same result.

"This guy must have screwed up the settings", the off duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered

three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!!

My husband works as a service technician for a large

exterminating company

One of the rules of the company is that he has to confirm

each appointment by phone the night before his service call

to that household.

One evening he made such a call and when a man

answered the phone, he said, "Hi this is Gary from A to Z Pest

Control Company. Your wife phoned us".

There was a long silence and then my husband heard the

man on the other end say, "Honey, it's for you.. someone

wants to talk to you about your relatives"!

SENIOR PERSONAL ADS

Some "Senior" Personal ads seen in Florida and

Arizona Newspapers. All True!!

Foxy Lady - Sexy, fashion conscious, blue-haired

beauty, 80's slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for:

sharp-looking, sharp dressing companion, Matching

white shoes and belt a plus.

Mint condition: Male, 1932 high mileage, good condition

some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea,

valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Long TERM Commitment: Recent Widow who has

just buried fourth husband looking for someone to

round out a six-unit plot. Dizzines, fainting, shortness

of breathe not a problem.

Serenity Now: I am into solitude, long walks,

sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are

the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids

out and enjoy quiet times.

Winning Smile: Active grandmotehr with original

teeth, seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks,

corn on the cob and caramel candy.

Beatles or Stones? I still like to rock, still like to

cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to

play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick or are

now a groovy hen, lets get together and listen to my

boss collection of eight tracks.

Memories: I can usually remember Monday through

Thursday. IF you can remember Friday, Saturday and

Sunday, let's put our two heads together.