This is priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication of how

much trouble our country is in.

God Bless America !

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in

trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea -Porter) ask for an

aisle seat so that her hair wouldn' t get messed up by being near the

window. (On an airplane !)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's ( Moore ) staffer ( Howard

Bauleke ), who wanted

to go to Capetown . I started to explain the length of the flight and

the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I' m not trying

to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts....''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in

Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman ( Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a

Florida package

we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said

he was expecting an

ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since

Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don' t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very

thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker 's wife ( Landra Reid ) who asked, ''Is it

possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member( Janet Napolitano ) once called and asked

if he could rent a car in Dallas .

I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in

Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard

Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to

save time.'' ( Aghhhh )

6. An Illinois Congresswoman ( Jan Schakowsky ) called last week.

She needed to know how it

was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a. m ., and got to

Chicago at 8:33 a. m .

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn' t

understand

the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and

she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker , ( Jerrold Nadler ) called and asked, ''Do airlines

put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs

to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my

luggage that said (FAT), and I' m overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying

laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca . is

(FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination

tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide ( Lindsay Ross ) called to inquire about a

trip package to Hawaii .

After going over all the cost info , she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly

to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from

Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my

flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi -

Cola , Florida.

Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty !''

11. Mary Landrieu , La . Senator called and had a question about the

documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion

about passports, I reminded her that she

needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don' t . I've been to China many times and never

had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her

this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they

have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler ) called to make reservations, ''I

want to go from Chicago to Rhino , New York.''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name

of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I' m sorry, sir, I've looked up

every airport code in the country and can' t find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don' t be silly! Everyone knows where it is.

Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don'

t mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..

I don' t write it, I just offer it for your consideration.

Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

I can understand why you would defend fellow bureaucrats with jobs guaranteed for life or until sequestration. Sounds plausible to me.

Thanks, Chemyst. Funny stuff.

"Sounds plausible" is the new "true" of the interwebs TW, didn't you know?

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp 

Very credible folks.

signed,

Untouchables caste

Years ago I gave away several hunting rifles that were gifted to me. Now that government workers are getting a bit anxious, my wife and I are reconsidering. It's going to take a lot of rocksalt to scare off a frantic 260 pound TW when he charges.

A whistle will do just fine.

Would you believe a ball point pen?

Perhaps if I just pissed on myself would scare them away too?

Now, where did I hear those fine suggestions?[-(

G. Gordon Liddy always bragged that he could kill a man that way... that is, until his soggy Depends tripped him up.

Are these posts on the correct thread? Is this the sequestration, NAFTA, or the thread ridiculing bureaucrats?

You used to be fun.

You off your meds?

Quit drinking?

What gives?

😕

You post like Latka talked.

TW using a Smartphone is like Obama using a Savings Account.

NEWS FLASH: the phone can't really make you smarter.8-[