1. What does CPA stand for? Couldn't Pass Again.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.

4. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don’t understand.

5. Why did the accountant cross the road? Because she looked in the files and that's what they did last year.

6. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.

7. What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he's boring.

8.How can you tell when the CFO is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

9. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don't tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]

10. Four Laws of Accounting:

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not.
4. Return on investments never will.

Nascar Accountants are a Credit to thier Race??