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QMPASH
Aficionado Topic Starter

11 years ago

A man goes to his doctor and tells him he wants to quit smoking cigars. He tells the doctor he is smoking 10-15 cigars a day and he's worried about his health.

"No problem," says the doctor, "I have a foolproof plan that works every time. Take one cigar out of your humidor. Then take the cigar and remove the wrapping. After that, shove the cigar up your rectum. Leave it there for at least 30 minutes. I would recommend leaving it there overnight, just to be sure. Then take that cigar and replace the same wrapping that you had removed and replace the cigar in the humidor. Make sure you mix them up so you can't tell which cigar it is. You will be so disgusted about accidentally smoking that cigar you will lose all desire to smoke."

The man replies, "Gee thanks doc, that sounds like a great plan. I am going to try it."

The doctor replies, "Good, come back in two weeks and let me know how you're doing.

Two weeks later the guy returns and the doctor asks him, "Well, did my idea work?"

"It was great doc. I no longer have any desire to smoke a cigar. There is only one small problem. I can't sleep at night without a cigar stuck up my butt." 🤣

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bassman45
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

😟

Edited by user 11 years ago | Reason: Not specified

Ndill
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

✋

Puffnstuff79
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

The next flavor craze? It may already be taken.

youngra
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

Gurkha factory??????????

DrMaddVibe
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

A n00b walks into CBid and says...:Did you see that overbid?"🐴

=d> =d> =d>

Thank you, thank you and thank you...that's why I won't do more than one show a night...I just won't do it!

KingoftheCove
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

I can't sleep at night without a big cigar stuck up my butt.

JadeRose wrote:

😱

gross...........................as usual

QMPASH
Aficionado Topic Starter

11 years ago

😱

gross...........................as usual

KingoftheCove wrote:

I would guess that your favorite programs are reruns of "Father Knows Best," "The Donna Reed Show' and "The Lawrence Welk Show." I would also guess that you didn't like Buddy Hackett's, Richard Pryor's or Chris Rock's sense of humor. 🐴

tonygraz
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

I guess I know where you flavor your cigars.

TMCTLT
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#10

QMPASH wrote:

Hate to break it to you....it really wasn't funny but gross as KoC stated. To each his own I guess, and I'll go out on a limb and guess your into programs like The New Normal..... not that there's anything wrong with that.....:-"

Edited by user 11 years ago | Reason: Not specified

QMPASH
Aficionado Topic Starter

11 years ago

#11

TMCTLT wrote:

And I hate to break the bad news to you but I have told that same joke to about 50 people and never had a reaction like that. You see worse in many of these threads. [ram27bat]

TMCTLT
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#12

And I hate to break the bad news to you but I have told that same joke to about 50 people and never had a reaction like that. You see worse in many of these threads. [ram27bat]

QMPASH wrote:

They must be fans of the show too....🌫

KingoftheCove
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#13

QMPASH wrote:

ha!
I actually thought the joke wasn't too bad.
I was just using the punchline to roast JadeRose a bit (cause I have to, since Wheel is wounded, and ZRX pouts when picked on too much)
Learn to read the room dude.............and in this case............my post.

Mandoman
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#14

FGM couldn't do that. His head is in the way.

tailgater
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#15

And I hate to break the bad news to you but I have told that same joke to about 50 people and never had a reaction like that. You see worse in many of these threads. [ram27bat]

QMPASH wrote:

This is junior high humor at best.

Maybe if you change the exchange between the doctor and patient a little.
As it stands it goes like this:
Doctor says stick a cigar up your butt.
Guy say's that sounds like a great idea.

Really?
If someone can't figure out the punch line at that point, then maybe it's just their lack of intelligence that makes them laugh.

Try this one next time:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To stick a cigar up his azz.

😮

nolen
Herf-A-Holic

11 years ago

#16

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of the best vodk, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says:
"In USSR, we have the best vodka in the world, nowhere can you find vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. We have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he goes to a window and throws the rest of the bottle out of it. The others were quite impressed.

Then the Cuban pulls out a box of the finest Habanos. He takes out one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars in the world: Habanos. Nowhere in the world are there such good cigars and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that, he throws the box of cigars out the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.

Next, the American stands up, opens the window, and throws the lawyer out.

Edited by user 11 years ago | Reason: Not specified

QMPASH
Aficionado Topic Starter

11 years ago

#17

nolen wrote:

NOW, THAT WAS FUNNY!!

I am now waiting for someone to complain about your ethnic stereotypes and racism. There just HAS to be someone who reads this post and is offended. [sarcasm]