You know why a woman’s work is never done? They don’t get up early enough.

When you think about it. God has to be the best inventor of all time. He took a rib from Adam and made a loud speaker out of it.

Know how to prevent sagging? Keep eating until the wrinkles fillout.

My wife said “watcha doin’ today?” I said “nothing” She said “you did that yesterday” I said “I was not finished.”

And Then: Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow draw and says, "Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."

Sorry ladies, I could not resist.

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