tonygraz
Wednesday, December 23, 2015 4:07:27 PM
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his

colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came

along too close and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police

car was close enough to see the accident and

pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.

But, before the cop had a chance

to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about

he'd now be late for court, but was even louder about how his Lexus,

which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined

and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make

it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound

down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I

can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.

"You are so focused on your

possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even

realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck

hit you!"

OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.

"MY ROLEX!"

tailgater
Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:03:01 PM
Saw the arm coming.

But not the rolex.

Bravo!

TMCTLT
Wednesday, December 23, 2015 6:15:11 PM

Okay Tony.....that's funny!!! 🍺

bgz
  • bgz
  • Herf-A-Holic
Wednesday, December 23, 2015 9:28:52 PM
lol
Gene363
Thursday, December 24, 2015 12:51:57 AM

Used to be a yuppie, lawyer is an improvement.

Speaking of Lawyers...

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, little eyes, a skinny neck, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be a lawyer".

jackconrad
Thursday, December 24, 2015 6:55:46 AM
Lmao!!!