Heisenberg, Schrodinger & Ohm are in a car & they get pulled over.
Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know EXACTLY where I am!"
The cop says, "You were doing 55 in a 35."
Heisenberg throws up his hands and yells, "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious so he tells Heisenberg to pop the trunk.
He checks it out & says, "Hey, did you know that you have a dead cat back here?"
"WE DO NOW, A-HOLE!" Yells Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them.
Ohm resists.
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody golf club standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes," says the woman. "Did you hit him with that five iron?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times ... just put me down for five.
One day a man finds a magic lamp. He rubs the lamp and the prerequiste genie pops out. The genie says she can grant the man one wish. The man says he'd like to live forever. The genie says she's sorry but she's not authorized to grant that type of wish.
The man thinks for a moment and then he says, "Okay, I'd like to live until the Chicago Cubs win the World Series."
Husband:My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant:
Weight?
Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant:
Color of eyes?
Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant:
Color of hair?
Husband:
Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t
remember.
Sergeant:
What was she wearing?
Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know
exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:
She went in my truck.
Sergeant:
What kind of truck was it?
Husband:
A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air
conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and
"Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver,
23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has
custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting....
At this point the husband started choking up.. .
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck
