Hello Community,

First things first...I'm not a total newb to the cigar savoring scene. I've learned a few things along my cigar journey and a lot of that has been right here from the typing digits of some very knowledgeable BOTLs. For that, I am very appreciative. I have learned that, for the most part, there is a wealth of know-how here along with a couple 2 or 3 obvious loons loaded with bad info and sarcasm. Those cats have been duly and mentally noted and when I see them post something, my antennas become erect and stick straight up. That dude that tries to keep getting me to look at some hairy ape in a thong-like pair of women's drawers posed like a WWF wrestler...I'm on to you, pal, and I'll never click your links again.

Normally I never post. However I have been experiencing a problem with my daily cigar sessions. I tend to enjoy at least 3 cigars on a normal day and sometimes more on certain occasions. You know...a good Connie in the A.M. with coffee...a mid-day Bahia Trinidad for economical but satisfying quenching of my urges and then after dinner usually something a might darker and stouter as I sit and ponder tomorrow. Being retired now, I have many opportunities to enjoy my few vices. I consider this CBID community as one of these diversions.

Now to my recent troubles with my smokes. When I first started this cigar thing back about 7 years ago, I must admit as a newb then, I did have an occasional rumblin' tummy afterwards. Excessive sweating and belly aches, dry mouth and episodes of lying across the bed promising God I would never smoke another cigar if He'd get me through this. But after a Pixie Stick or similar sugar application (a trick I learned right here, Thank You CBidders). Along with that bit of advice, I have learned tips and tricks here on CBid to manage and enjoy my cigar stash. Things like "cellophane or no cellophane", cat crystals or beads, etc. And most recently, one fine brother posted a very neat tip about labeling and marking my precious cigars for better management and aging. Ingenious idea that when I read it, I immediately thought to myself "Why didn't I think of that?" A black Sharpie to mark the date and other pertinent information on the cigar's trunk? Superb idea! Now I can know at a glance just how long each stick has been resting in it's cedar bed. Since I took the advice of some of the smarter gents around here, I have been removing each and every stick's cellophane if it actually came so dressed. Reason being...I and the original advisor here, felt the cigars were better able to absorb the cedar richness and surrounding bed mates which would accelerate the aging (and flavoring) process. So I mark each new stick laid to rest with a fine point Sharpie with the date and in some cases an extra bit of info to remind me of the stick's past performances.

For the past week though, I have encountered another issue with every cigar I enjoy. Never happened before now. Seems I tend to get as high as a giraffe's ass after even the mildest stick I light up. And having a look in the mirror reveals that my tongue is starting to darken a bit. This is a very worrisome situation for me. The "high" tends to last for quite some time and as I continue to partake of more cigars...it seems each time lasts longer in duration and strength. Also, I now can understand the references to a "metallic" taste or flavor I hear of. Probably not an associated problem but curious how this all occurred near the same time...my right testicle has grown noticeably larger than my left one. In addition, it hangs much lower than my left one as well which could be attributed to the larger size resulting is more mass and weight. I do not feel like this is a common problem but getting older is uncharted territory each new day. It's good to know I belong to a fairly decent community of like souls that one can share such things with in hopes of finding answers to such matters. My wife says I should stop cigars altogether and that she hates my cigar breath but I am no wimp. She will just have to honor her vows to me...For better or worse...cause I put up with her antics for over 44 years. Besides, she's got parts that have went considerably south, not unlike my testicles, since we got hitched back in '72.

Can any of you smarter brothers round here help a guy out or maybe make a suggestion that could/would assist me and alleviate the concerns I am living with presently?? I don't want to quit altogether for a couple reasons. #1 is I enjoy my rotted leaf very much...way beyond just a "habit". And #2...if I quit now, she'll think she has won and I didn't get into this marriage to lose.

Thanking you in advance.

Signed, ButterScotch

I get that there's a lot of words, because you've been saving them up for 7 years and all....but ....what did you do with the good ones?

I'd get divorced and see what they taste like. It'll probably help the ball situation too, since you'll probably get to start using them again. Let us know if that works.

I'm not a fan of butterscotch.
Regular Scotch, I'm ok with.

What was the question?
Squirrel!!

OMG, Another victim of Atramentum metallica - ink poisoning!!!! Sharpie marker on cello or label can seep into the tobacco. In fact, the fumes from the sharpie will permeate your cigars. The initial effect can be flavorless and odorless.Ingestion of ink is the main cause of ink poisoning.

According the National Institute of Health, "The symptoms of poisoning from ingestion of ink may include nausea and staining of the tissue inside the mouth. Even ink ingested in small quantities is a danger due to the tendency to concentrate in the body and not be excreted readily. This bio-accumulation effect has a particularly gruesome effect on the tongue. AVOID burning ink as it accelerates the negative effect. The first symptom is a metallic taste followed by a gangrenous blackening of the tongue. There have been numerous unavoidable tongue amputations performed to save a patient's life." The publication goes further to state "In the event that ink is ingested, call emergency services or your local poison control center for advice. Do not induce vomiting unless suggested by a licensed medical professional. The NIH rates pen ink as poisonous and curable but suggests that "full recovery is not likely."

To be safe, you need to send me all your cigars. PM me for details.............Just doing my public service. You are welcome.

I have a better idea Tom. I'm gonna send you all my Sharpies.

LMAO!

I'm long winded, but gave up on this one.

Tl;dr?

I'll take em all. I am fortunate to be immune to the effects of A. Metallica having been accidentally exposed to high levels platiminium in my secret laboratory. Not only am I immune but it has given me super powers. The only thing that can stop me is the sound of heavy metal played loudly.

Remember Butt Scotch, l can solve your cigar problem - through the scientific process of ignition and combustion.

Hey Butt Scratch

Keep your posts SHORT.
The average person only reads the first two or three sentences of a paragraph.

I can only imagine how popular your emails must be.

Give it another shot.

NO !

How's that?

It is OK if we just call you Butt?

You're not far off the mark, permanent ink or what we call legal ink in the world of fountain pens have trace metals to keep it from being totally removed from legal documents. Sharpies are a legal ink!

The cello is air permeable and could bleed through ink molecules thereby transferring dangerous metals into your cigars.

As a trained arborist and fountain pen afficinado (keeping lots of ink on hand) I'm stepping up to assist TT in their proper disposal. That much ink and absorbable plant material must be spread out as much as possible.

Where can I get the cliff notes of the original post?

Have you asked Cliff..?? 😕