Ok lets see if I can help all of the other noobs out here. While I am not young in age and have smoked cigars for quite some time, I am considered a noob or FNG here on the site for obvious post count reasons.

I have lurked on the site for a good while and one of the biggest things I have learned is that the search engine for these forums is a little lacking. One of my biggest searches and lurking habits has been that of Gurkha cigars. Why are they expensive? Why are they in your face on every cigar site? Why dont people ever say too much about them? Why Why why?

So this post will be an attempt to save you (the noob) from the wrath of posting yet another Gurkha related post like I did. Sure you can post them... but the old hats here on the site have heard and watched these threads for so long that they will likely either ignore you or publicly bash and humiliate you until you cower in the corner over at puff...... and then still the only information you will get is "dont buy Gurkha" But again... why? I am curious so I tried anyway....

So here is my review of a couple of Gurks that will hopefully give you insight and knowledge and not piss off the regulars.

Gurkha Beauty - First of all let me say that the draw on this is non existent.. (like all of them I tried) You know those monster straws that McDonalds has? Basically its like that. I like a strong cigar, so knowing this was a mild one I took my first puff without thinking... The complete and utter lack of draw resistance will basically fill you with so much smoke that before you can stop its coming out of your nose, ears, and any other open orifices in your body... Then the taste... lets just say that I really feel like I could have gotten a better flavor from hay wrapped in toilet paper... move on...

For your reading sanity I will lump the others all together.. because they basically were the exact same cigar with just a different band. Centurian, Warlord, and Beast
First see the draw comment above.. Taste... Well lets see. The taste to me was reminiscent of the shoe section in Goodwill. Come on... you know what I am talking about.. really dry leather and a hint of dry rotted rubber soles with just a touch of cat crap in the cracks.... This could be desirable by some of you millennials so its not really up to me to say you wont like that particular taste. I mean most of you drink red bull. Which to me is what I imagine cat piss would taste like but you all seem to like it so to each their own...

Is the cigar unsmokeable? No... but each of them had so much smoke just rolling off the foot it looks like your roasting a pig over an open spit. Some folks like that... but its a little embarrassing after a while.

So there you go. A noob posting a long ass post that will hopefully not annoy the crap out of everyone but hopefully it gives some guidance on why you should pass along on the Gurks...Definitely take the time to admire their world class marketing department, but find another cigar in my opinion

How annoying

Sheesh

Noob

Friggin noobs...

All that effort. Nobody is going to read that wall of text.

Damn impatient azz millennials. Let me sum it up for you

They suck... move on...

^ better

Just say no.

I'll wait for the cliff notes

^see post #5

You still passed off the old dudes. Can't win for losing.

Looks like another person going on Hank status

🤐

Eh thats how it goes sometimes. But good grief look at the recent topics!! Got to throw some logs on the fire here and give everyone something to bitch and moan about before I fall asleep!

Where's cameroon?

This guy is begging for a new name

He came up with Jacksoff... 💤

No one ever accused me of being afraid to throw a grenade in the room and close the door.

TLDR

Just shoot at there feet as a warning shot

I stopped here and had to rub one out.....