Telemarketers, this is a great story of revenge.

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling.

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.

I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears", I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.

🙂

Johnny likes evil jokes!!!

:)

The missus was out of town on bidness for a few days a couple years back. I try to plan ahead, so that when I've taken care of the pets, had a shower, sit down with some food, etc., I won't have to get up for a while. This time, I forgot to pick up the cordless phone.

Five minutes after I finally got to sit down, and after I started eating, sure enough, the phone rang. Not having time to catch it before the machine, I didn't get a chance to look at the caller ID. I picked it up and it was some guy pushing lightbulbs for the blind or something (I always love that one...usually I just ask how they know the bulbs are good if they are blind).

Having been ensnared, I was quite annoyed. I let the guy go on for his 2 minute Highly Effective Pre-prepared Sales Pitch, then announced in a loud voice "YES, I WOULD LOVE TO BUY MANY OF YOUR FINE PRODUCTS!" Then in a hushed voice, I said "I can't talk now, he's going to kill me" and hung up. They have never called me again.

True story, I swear.

wait for a female telemarketer.

Rick,

I have had women telemarketers call the house. One in particular was the worst. I interrupted her spiel to tell the same company had already called me. It was a ‘deal’ for a time-share at the beach. I asked to be put on their do not call list. She said “F U” and hung up before I could say a thing. At least she hung up the phone. 🙂

This was before caller ID and the national “don’t call list.” I am always polite but persistent and asked to be placed on their do not call list. I never have felt that paying for telephone service entitles anyone other than my family to decide how it is used.

The "do not call" list is about as useful as spyware removal software. Works for about ten days, then it's pretty much like it never existed. I've got all my numbers on it, and I still get calls. The remedies for that are too time-consuming for me to pursue, which I suspect is something these buttholes are counting on.

Gene363

what i had in mind was something like

"hi honey. what are you wearing. i'm naked and picturing you the same way."

Rick,

I used to work with a fellow that could do just that. Even though my sense of humor has occasionally caused me to be called one sick SOB I could not bring myself to make those comments, do they work?

Gene363

well if she doesn't hang up, you might get lucky.

Don't say a word and just hang up. It's that simple and works every time/and very satisfying too boot.

Yeah, cause they never call back. Frankly, I'm disappointed in myself if someone leans forward with their chin, gives me a free shot and I don't take it. Guess I'm just twisted that way.

if your phone rings you are not required to answer it. if someone knocks on your door you are not required to open the door.

i have all the ringers turned off in the house and my answering machine takes all my calls.

if someone knocks on my door and i don't recognize them and i am busy, i don't respond.

it's like sitting on a bench and enjoying your cigar and someone stops to say something about the smoke, the stink, your health, just say "go away." you don't even have to look at the annoying person.