A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on
the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the
puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”


He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he
said with a deep sigh...


"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

love it

Sent to my mom....an 84 year old jigsaw puzzle fan.



We will see if she thinks it's funny...

Sent it to my 92 you mom too. Great joke.

my 97 y.o. mom also loved it

Bwahahaha! I sent it to my mom as well..... Dad will have to explain it to her 😰

Haha good one

HAARR! Unfortunately too close to reality here for the wife's 88 year old mom who had a stroke last year.

👍

---

And some for the road:

I bought a box of condoms earlier today.
The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said nah, I'll just turn the lights off.

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken running down the road. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.

Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph!

The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!!

Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard with dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer "How did you get all these three legged chickens?"

The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece."

"That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?"

"Don't rightly know, I ain't caught one yet!"

"Why is my sister named Teresa?"
"Because your mother loves Easter... It's an anagram."
"OK, thanks, dad."
"No problem, Alan."


For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly , but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorially.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll chit on it's head."

tripod chikenz?

well with you as a son, we KNOW she knows funny...

An old one:

A young indian brave goes to the elder and says,
Oh wise one, how do we get our names?
The elder says,
When a baby is born I look to nature and that vision is how I decide. For example, when your brother Two Running Bears was born I saw two bears running.
When your sister Two Flying Doves was born I saw two doves flying.
But why do you ask Two Dogs F**king?

I like the statue joke. Those birds are just plain cruel...