Top of the mornin' gents

New member from across the P.O.N.D.

Enjoy a good cigar when I'm not too skint.

So this morning I start my day by taking my rubbish out to the bin, when straightaway I spot a bloke at the empty flat across the street posing as a real estate agent BUT I ain't no wazzock. This chap is MI5 all day.

Now it's monkey's outside and I'm still in the bathrobe I picked up at the morning swap but I know I'm balls-up if this nutter toff makes me. So real calm and cool I yell "Bob's your uncle mate! Ace's weather, no? Well, back to me telly."

He gave a crooked smile and a half wave - the **** - but I don't think he suspected anything. I'll be watching the dodgy cnt.

Now I'm back to the shack for some pork n beans for supper. Tatty-bye all.

tally ho!

Most importantly, which football team do you support?

2 - 1 he's a Chesterfield guy

Well played, it was a much longer game than I thought.

That's a fair amount of suffering. Teetering on the edge of relegation in League 2 isn't a great strategy to brave the english winter.

Master Jones seems to be the sort...

(In my best British accent) Straight barmy...are you out on the piss again, Jones? Off your trolley, are ya?

What kind of Ho??.........what services are offered??8-[

Gawdon Bennet! Brass Door services from Tally. OK?

top of the mornin gents

got round to the pubs last night I did and
2 drinks in I spot this redheaded bloke sittin cross the place and
straightaway I know him as a scotland yard cuddy

I've no idea what he's doin in Leicestershire but he's about with some blond floozy and her MI6 sidekick

I make towards the loo like I'm out to shake the snake, but in actuality I just hover about behind em and listen in a bit, I did, and I hear em talking all sly like about how they was fixin to nick me pound stash from me flat that very evening they was

well I come round from behind him and - bob's your uncle - take a swing at ol' scotty

but the dodgy cnt musta slipped a mickey into me first pint cuz afore I could connect with the cheeky bastird
I lost me footing and ended up face down in their plum pudding


the scotty was quite good about the whole thing - OF COURSE THATS HIS JOB - shouldered me out to a hackney and saw me off and such

got back to me flat and looks like me stash is safe

OUTSMARTED them again, I did
maybe next time you bloody twits

🤔 Clutch Cargo was my first clue.
THEN, I read the posts, and that easily confirmed it.

Different though. Clutch Cargo and company are all wearing stashes.

Incognito !

British Magwitch?

Interesting attempt at humor. I'm sure you realize that the use of "Master" before a name is for boys that haven't reached adulthood. 🌫