A friend sent me this since she knew all the troubles we were having with my 21 year old daughter.

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing? When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said,

"When they get out of the accident stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making

license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the fro nt door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smile and! her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?" Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life? One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried." I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

I'm 36. My mom's baby.

She still e-mails me and says she's worried about me. Understandably so, due to current circumstances, but it validates your point. She's 66... it never ends for mothers.

I think dads are different. I want my son to succeed and I try to do my best to give him good advice and guidance. But the responsibility for his life passes from me to him when he goes out on his own.

when i turned 50 i had a heart attack. when

my kids visited me, i said, "from now on,

you guys worry about me."

Macs,

You are right. For a mother it never ends.

My oldest is 22yrs old. At this time in his life he is on a path of complete destruction. I have been through so many emotions that it has put me in a position that I question my sanity.

Every imaginable scenerio goes through a mothers mind when it comes to her children. Children are the mothers existance in life.

One day my job here on this wicked earth will be over. When my day of judgement comes, I hope and pray I got the important parts right.

Mrs. Usahog

I loved kids and still do. Recent "life" events have changed me some and I'm not the same old fart with the big heart anymore. My perspectives on kids have changed.

However: I now have my dog "Tinker" and my motorcycle. Tinker loves me no matter what, no matter when I get home, he's at the door and glad to see me.

Kids still get to me though... I was riding the bike home from work on I95 south bound, when a van passed me. Peering out the back window was a little girl with long brown curly hair. She was smiling and waved at me, I waved back and her little face just lit up and the smile got bigger. I smiled and the the van was down the road. Made me think of my daughter Ashley.

Darn it Lauren, didn't mean to thread jack here....

I'm of the opinion that you try to raise your kids up by setting the example. Then when they turn 18, maybe they will have enough fortitude to live their lives and make decisions that will not result in their harm.

Thanks for the post....

Jimmy

Oh man, you mean I'm not the only one? Holy cow, that's good to know. I've got the two little ones who I will worry about until I draw my last breath, and Rug's two that to one degree or another have increased my consumption of Miss Clairol.

Last week I was talking with my grandmother, who is 89. She asked me if I had talked to my mother recently. My mother is 62. I guess it really doesn't ever end.

Jimmy - If it was me seeing the cute little girl looking out the back window and smiling I would NOT have waved.

I would have pulled up to the driver's window and told the douche-bag who didn't have the child strapped in to pull over and do so before I kicked his/her ass.

Seeing kids in vehicles unrestrained just pisses me off. It is a sign, to me, that the parent just doesn't care about their child's welfare.

Your right Shawn...

On the other hand, Donna's daughter Tracey, has worried her to point of being phyiscally sick. I have tried to explaine that she has done all she can. Now it is time to let her go. Donna sees herself in Tracey and she is making the same mistakes. Donna had 2 bad marriages, worked 2 jobs while the men laid around drunk, was beat up in her last marriage. I know she wants to protect her daughter, but you can only keep'em in your prayers.

I know that my parents worried about their kids until they passed. There was a time that the burden shifted to us worrying about them but they never stopped worrying about us.

I worry constanty about my kid. He is a good kid, but a normal 13 y/o. It is just the way it works. It will never end.

I feel a little less under the gun. I just have to make sure my Son ends up better than me.

He should have that accomplished by the time he's 7.

Then I can stop worrying.

My two boys are 9 and 6 now. I always worry about them and just try to teach them right from wrong. I spend as much time as I can with them. We talk every night around the dinner table about everything from the days events, to sports, to what is going on anywhere. I just hope they grow up to be good men. But I will always worry about them as my parents still do to me. However, the older my parents get, the more I worry about them now.