Some old, some new (to me anyway).....

IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A "JOGGING" TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
▪ RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.
▪ I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD, I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
▪ WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AMERICA MOVE?
▪ WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL. WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL.
▪ BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.
▪ LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
▪ VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
▪ I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY"? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
▪ IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
▪ IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.
▪ MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.
▪ SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.
▪ WE OWE ILLEGALS NOTHING -- WE OWE OUR VETERANS EVERYTHING.
▪ CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.
▪ I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
▪ A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - - NOTHING.

And some really good ones. Thanks Krazee

👍

Dan is pist at you.

😂 😂 😂