So with all these selfish people, I started a Quest. A quest to find a viable alternative to Toilet Paper!
But it came with a lot of experimentation.. and some pain

I had already found something but my wife said that I had to stop dragging my butt across the carpet.
Well, me wearing the pants and being the King of my castle, I quit immediately!

My quest continued..

I’m looking around my shop and I ran across some 40 grit sandpaper. I said to
Myself... Self, this just might work🤷‍♂️ DAYUM that was painful but it did
Get rid of my hemorrhoids!

Then I got a fresh piece out and looked at the other side... hmmmm smooth and you won’t stick your finger through
It when you wipe! Well, I call it John Wayne paper now cause it don’t take 💩 off anybody 😤


Then, suddenly...the light came on😯 The Epiphany I was longing for!!

DRYER SHEETS!!!!👋👋👋👋👋


For the first time in 20 YEARS, my azz is soft, smells like lavender, and WRINKLE FREE🤓



You’re welcome
Loosestooldryersheets.orgy

🤠FGM🤠

Bet it's static free, too!

Sho is!!!

Now imagine being sequestered at home with a clogged sewer line. 😰

Don't flush alternative toilet paper.

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Great, now what am I gonna do with all this TP? Heads up there's no dryer sheets available anywhere in the world. I just bought it all. Fgm 👍

The answer to all your problems is.....PAM....

Thanks, to Numi, IIRC

A truly healthy person, like the animals, needs no toilet paper.

Our solution is a bidet toilet seat, hose down and blow dry, it work very well.

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you're like a genius!

If you are going to use a padron I’d use a cheaper line.

Gurkha?

You would choose the one thing that would explode in your bum.

You know, that would have been a good use for the speech Pelosi tore up!