Before Friday night services, Morris goes to his friend Irving and says, "I need a favor. I'm sleeping with the Rabbi's wife. Can you hold him in the synagogue for an hour after services for me?"

Irving is not very fond of the idea but being Morris' life-long friend, he reluctantly agrees.

After services, he strikes up a conversation with the Rabbi, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

After some time the wise Rabbi becomes suspicious and asks, "Irving what are you really up to?"

Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse confesses to the Rabbi, "I'm sorry, Rabbi. My friend is sleeping with your wife, right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

Rabbi Shummstein smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Irving's shoulder and says, "You better hurry home, Irving.

My wife died two years ago..."

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooohhhh!

She...wouldn't...shut...up.

A man is getting busy with a married woman when they hear the front door opening. She is scared to death and says, “He will kill you!” They jump out of the bed and throw on their clothing. She shoves him into a closet and goes to greet her husband.

As the man stands in the dark closet waiting for the coast to clear for his getaway he hears a small voice say, It’s dark in here, I’m scared and I want out.

The man shushes the kid, but again the same voice says, “It’s dark in here, I’m scared and I want out!”

Desperate, the man says, “Keep quiet and I’ll give you one hundred dollars.”

The little voice says, “OK”.

He hands the boy a $100 bill.

Soon the coast is clear and the man makes his getaway.

The following day the boy and his Father are in the local Walmart when the boy sees a bicycle he wants and says to his Father I’m going to buy that bike with this $100 bill.

Suspecting shenanigans, the Father asks his son where he got the money.

The son says it’s a secret, I cannot tell.

The Father responds, fine, then we’ll go to the church.

At the church, the Father explains his concern to the Priest who enters his side of the confessional.

The Father puts his son into the other side of the confessional.

The Priest slides open the divider and a small voice says, “It’s dark in here, I’m scared and I want out.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again!”

Must’ve been a Schwinn

Now let go of my shirt please…

Cause you have them all on display in the great room…