https://www.dailywire.com/news/the-new-york-times-gets-brutally-mocked-after-releasing-guide-on-how-to-cope-with-election-results

DrMaddVibe wrote:

He's obviously impaired.

MACS wrote:

If this guy wins... the people of PA should be absolutely ashamed of themselves.

He's obviously impaired. He's actually worse than Biden... and that's saying a lot.

MACS wrote:

The sooner conservatives sees him for who he really is, the better. He’s the Republican version of Hillary.

Abrignac wrote:

PHILADELPHIA, PA — In the wake of his Senate victory, Democratic Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. John Fetterman has purchased a new dress hoodie to wear in Washington. Fetterman made the purchase at the King of Prussia mall on Wednesday afternoon.

"Hoodie... yes hoodie. Fancy. Dress up. Professional... professional," said Fetterman to reporters. "Wear. Hoodie."

"He looks amazing in the hoodie," said Pauli's Vittorino, a sales associate at Joey's, a casual menswear store. "He looks like a real Senator now. Future president, maybe!"

According to a customer who witnessed the transaction, Fetterman had difficulty trying on the 4XL hoodie, likely due to struggles associated with his tragic stroke. "His wife helped him put the hoodie on," said the customer, who wished to remain anonymous. "I voted for the other guy because I found Fetterman's neck lump unsettling. But this new hoodie makes me reconsider!"

Writers for Vogue declared the new loungewear an "iconic new fashion statement," while People Magazine declared the new Senator as a strong contender for "sexiest man alive." Fetterman responded to the glowing reviews, saying: "glurghhhh."

At publishing time, Fetterman had also purchased some dress flip-flops and another shotgun in case he runs into any black joggers in D.C.

https://babylonbee.com/news/fetterman-prepares-for-senate-job-with-new-dress-hoodie 

There's talk of a Presidential campaign in 2024... 😟

DrafterX wrote:

Amazing to watch the downfall of PA. I'm from NJ and there was a time that I considered retiring to PA so I could stay close to family. That time is long gone.

JGRAZ wrote:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34930042

Kovaleski(sp?) was just a reporter with a crippling chronic joint disability.
We've finally upgraded to stutterers and stroke victims.

frankj1 wrote:

U.S. — President Biden's congratulatory call to John Fetterman for his senate race win reportedly lasted in excess of three hours because neither man was able to form a coherent sentence.

White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain was forced to adjust Biden's schedule as the call dragged on and on. Meetings on the economy, foreign policy, and immigration were canceled entirely. Fortunately, Biden was still able to keep his standing tea time with Kamala.

"They just sort of growled at each other after a while. It was very raw and animalistic, as you'd expect from great leaders," Klain said, advising Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre on how best to spin the time-consuming call.

An excerpt of the official transcript of the call has been made available by the White House. A brief excerpt of the call follows —

POTUS: Look, Jack, you great, boy. Not a joke.

Fetterman: Me John. Who Jack?

POTUS: You Jack, man. Come on!

Fetterman: [unintelligible chatter]

POTUS: No. I'm serious! Think about it.

Fetterman: Uh, new phone. Who dis?

POTUS: Hello?

Fetterman: [heavy breathing]

POTUS: [heavy breathing]

At publishing time, White House aides deactivated President Biden's phone after he once again phoned to ask John Fetterman if the senator-elect would consider running for senate.

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-call-to-congratulate-fetterman-lasts-three-hours-as-neither-can-form-a-coherent-sentence