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andytv Offline
#51 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:26 PM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
^ St. Augustine
jpotts Offline
#52 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:30 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
From a person who once used to watch porn, and live a fairly "wild" lifestyle, here are a few of my observations:

1) Porn is a wonderful thing, until you realize just how sad and pathetic it is.

2) There's no way you'll ever bed a porn star or a centerfold.

3) Nearly 99% of the women out there are not porn stars, and don't want to be centerfolds.

4) If you did have the chance to bed a porn star / centerfold, you'd probably not want to anyways. Some cars just have WAY too much mileage on them to be safe to drive.

5) There are only so many permutations of the sacred act before you start wandering into the realm of the hoplessly bizzare.

6) AIDS kills. Some people out there haven't figured that out yet - and usually it's the person nibbling on your ear after she's just shared a needle.

7) By the way, you have the same chances of bedding a woman at the strip clup as you do a porn star - and this is nil. And those chances keep declining with each $20 you're stuffing into her thong.

8) Porn is a wonderful thing up until you realize that, unless you're a rock-star with a heroin habit, there're virtually no way that you'll ever be doing "that" with someone like "her." And if you did, it wouldn't look like "that", wouldn't feel as good as it's made to look, and you probably wouldn't want to talk to "her" after you were done.

9) Watching 10 minutes of the E! show "The Girls Next Door" is enough to ruin any fanatasy a man might have.

10) There is more to Life then your crotch, as amazing of a revelation as that might be to some people. Unless you're following specially developed, black-op tantric practices, there's only so much you can do on any given day. The rest of that time should be spent doing...something...

I guess this classifies me an an "stodgy, old fogie"?
teedubbya Offline
#53 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:33 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
My buddy met a stripper, bedded her and ended up marrying her.

It didn't work out very well.
jpotts Offline
#54 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:35 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
^ I think that falls under item #8.
Charlie Offline
#55 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:39 PM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Knew a guy who fell madly in love with a stripper/pole dancer and they dated for about 8 years or more, then just sorta went each others way.....this was in the good old days in KC...

Charlie
ARN Offline
#56 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:39 PM EST
Joined: 10-14-2005
Posts: 11,393
I know that story TW, I think he was my X brother-in law. Hey wait did I just give up a family secret?
teedubbya Offline
#57 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:40 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Did he relocate to CA Charlie?
teedubbya Offline
#58 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:41 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
jpotts he did have a bit of a habit, and thought he was a rock star
erkwgz Offline
#59 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:49 PM EST
Joined: 10-07-2004
Posts: 10,840
I could have picked up a woman at strip club and have bedded a stripper.I also like to watch porn on occasion Nothing bad has come of it. So what was your point Potts?
jetblasted Offline
#60 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:51 PM EST
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
I bedded down a porn star ... and a couple of stripper, too . . .

Real Women are Better . . .
jpotts Offline
#61 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:54 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
jetblasted:

Was that a #4 or a #8?
MACS Offline
#62 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:58 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,899
"God please grant me chastity,..." - jbu

And her twin sister Christina...


Whoa... sorry... just had a daydream is all.
jetblasted Offline
#63 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:59 PM EST
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
The Strippers were hotter ... LoL . . .
teedubbya Offline
#64 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:59 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
looking at the title of this thread....

does that mean Pananma Red is has something in common with Tuckersdad?
teedubbya Offline
#65 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:00 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
dammitt

something in common with tuckersdad's undies?
jpotts Offline
#66 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:00 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
MACS(SW):

I hope you're not talking about Chastity Bono...
jbu Offline
#67 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:10 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
Jpotts,
A common mistake by the nonbelievers is to lump masturbation, strippers, and aids into one basket. Makes me doubt your claims of being an Alumni. Unless you are saying that you masturbated in strip clubs, shared needles with strippers and nibbled on ears. good god my man, why dint you just do like the rest of mankind.

Anyway, what did you do when you felt like beating your meat like it owed you money? Would Whoppi Goldberg’s picture be considered more appro. What if my spouse looked worse than her?
MACS Offline
#68 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:14 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,899
Re: #66

Thanks for totally ruining that fantasy for me.

She bats for the other team anyway.
erkwgz Offline
#69 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:16 PM EST
Joined: 10-07-2004
Posts: 10,840
Lesbianism is not a bad thing. If they do not look like chasity bono!
jbu Offline
#70 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:29 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
Jpotts says "$20 you're stuffing into her thong"

Thats ridiculous....

For $20 you can give her a yeast infection. And one usually waits till the thongs are off.

(pssss....between us boys)what do you ask for change?
jpotts Offline
#71 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:30 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
jbu:

"A common mistake by the nonbelievers is to lump masturbation, strippers, and aids into one basket."

I'm not. I have know guys who frequent strip clubs on a daily or weekly basis. They also had their "regular" stripper, and dropped ungodly amounts of money in an attempt to look "appealing."

Frankly speaking, after a while you get a general idea as to what the basic female anatomy looks like. It gets boring, and all strippers do (well, SOME strippers) is flaunt their wares without actually selling product. It's kinda like Amway, if you think about it...


"good god my man, why dint you just do like the rest of mankind."

What? Get married?


"Anyway, what did you do when you felt like beating your meat like it owed you money?"

Man, what a flattering picture of the JBU household (snide, but not so serious remark alert)! But in response to your question, I call her my "wife."


"Would Whoppi Goldberg’s picture be considered more appro."

Uh, no.



"What if my spouse looked worse than her?"

There is more to intamite relations between the sexes then appearances. Then again, I hold the same revulsion to tattos and piercings. Now dig up a nekked pictures of a tatooed, and pierced Whoopie Goldberg, and we'll talk...

On a more serious note, I saw this Larry King segment on some chick that had 11 different plastic surgeries over the last 9 years. They did a scene with her putting on her makeup, and I swear to God, she didn't even look HUMAN without her makeup on. In her obsession to be more appealing to the opposite sex, she became one of the most repulsive things I ever saw.

I'll stick with a little more modesty, and an little less alteration, thanks.
jpotts Offline
#72 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:33 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
MACS(SW):

Anything I can do to help the troops...

Batting for the other team? No. More like forward defensive tackle.
teedubbya Offline
#73 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:34 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
why do I feel so dirty
jbu Offline
#74 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:47 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
I am sorry Jpotts; i will not treat my wife like a picture of Whoopi.
jpotts Offline
#75 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:51 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
jbu:

Well, if you're not feeling all too attracted to your wife at any point, try looking at a nekked picture of Whoopie, and see if that changes...


...that is if you don't burn out the coronas of your eyes staring directly at Whoopie's...uh...unclad anatomy.
Dr Pepperhill Offline
#76 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:01 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
Because you're normal TW.
jbu Offline
#77 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:02 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
td,
"why do I feel so dirty "

because you are a gent and dont want your wife feeling that way.
jackconrad Offline
#78 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:23 PM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
Jimmy Swaggart,Jim Baker, Benny Hinn. Now that's what i call Porn that damages the Soul !!
jbu Offline
#79 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:57 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
Those guys were normal.....
You want to talk about all the clergymen that used something other than holy water on little boys.

But they probably did not used images of naked women.
jbu Offline
#80 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:58 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
used=use
panama red Offline
#81 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 3:23 PM EST
Joined: 10-12-2006
Posts: 1,552
RE:reply #64
I assume that by having the same values as Tuckersdad
yes we have something in common.

Pastor Richard Wharton
teedubbya Offline
#82 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 5:55 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
lol pananma

I botched that one all the way around
panama red Offline
#83 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 6:15 PM EST
Joined: 10-12-2006
Posts: 1,552
No harm no foul.

Blessings
jbu Offline
#84 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:31 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
I find it unfair and sardonically self-serving that people like jpotts speak of masturbating like wild monkeys when young and virile. Now, in old age, having lost the vigor and libido, conveniently condemn it for the current generation on the throne.

How is this self-depravation?
erkwgz Offline
#85 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:37 PM EST
Joined: 10-07-2004
Posts: 10,840
Masturbation is actually good for you as you get older too. Helps keep the prostate healthy.
jbu Offline
#86 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:44 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
I prefer to have it professionally done. Has my doctor sinned?
Dr Pepperhill Offline
#87 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:44 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
I have just about lost all interest in solitary splooge spraying, but Like erk says, I got to tend to prostate health. Not even fun anymore, strictly business. Plus, because it's health related, and has nothing to do with pleasure, no begging God to spare me from the fiery furnace of hedonism; strictly legit.
jpotts Offline
#88 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:46 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
jbu:

"I find it unfair and sardonically self-serving that people like jpotts speak of masturbating like wild monkeys when young and virile."

No, it's young and stupid. Secondly, it's called "self-control." Third, I never really mentioned any monkey-spanking in any of my posts, so why are you assuming that I'm all up in arms about meeting Rosie Palm?



"Now, in old age, having lost the vigor and libido, conveniently condemn it for the current generation on the throne."

Now see here, sonny, I'll have none of that "loss of vigor" talk coming from you. I'll bet that I'm awake more hours of the day, on average, then you are (I get an average of about 5 hours of sleep a day during the weekdays). And I have no problem in the libido department.



"How is this self-depravation?"

Did I mention anything about "self-depravation?" Man, how some people are able to read all sorts of things into other people's posts.

My point is that so many people are hung-up on sex these days, that the lenghts to which they will go for gratification of their naughty-bits lingers on the sad, and pathetic.
jpotts Offline
#89 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:48 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
Dr. Pepperhill:

Ok, that was more then I needed to know about your personal life...

adroomi Offline
#90 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:49 PM EST
Joined: 05-10-2002
Posts: 10,143
In China they have "Prostate Massage" Clinics.

Nothing like a good prostate massage to keep you healthy.
jpotts Offline
#91 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:52 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
^ I did not know that.

Dr Pepperhill Offline
#92 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:52 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
What can I say Potts, we modern men simply have to take care of our bodies in this fast paced techno-world or fall behind in the race. You know what they say: no prostate? never mind.
Dr Pepperhill Offline
#93 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:53 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
What are the odds of this thread getting yanked?
jetblasted Offline
#94 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:53 PM EST
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
I'm interested in adroomi's response . . .

Just what are you saying ?
Dr Pepperhill Offline
#95 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:57 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
Get a room you two!
jpotts Offline
#96 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:58 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
Dr. Pepperhill:

If the thread doesn't get yanked, it's certainally tap-dancing on the edge of the abyss.
Dr Pepperhill Offline
#97 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:59 PM EST
Joined: 09-02-2005
Posts: 7,249
And to think my pedestrian old breast thread caused such a stir ...
adroomi Offline
#98 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 7:59 PM EST
Joined: 05-10-2002
Posts: 10,143
Huge places Jet.

You go in and pay your $10.

You get served tea and fruit.

In the locker room, a couple of dudes help you with your clothes and prepare your shower. You bathe and then get a good rubdown. The dudes hand you your towel and slippers, etc. Sorta like a butler service. Bathroom attendants for the sauna so to speak.

Then they take you to your treatment room. Very relaxing, quiet, and smells good. You are sooooo relaxed. A "nurse" comes in and uses all sorts of various items ranging from hot water to ice to fingers and toes to massage your prostate. One word can describe it all...."explosive!"

A good day at the spa and sauna will make a man feel refreshed. Great way for a couple dudes to spend their lunch hour.

Licensed professionals.
jetblasted Offline
#99 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 8:03 PM EST
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
well, it sounds interesting, except for all the dude references . . .

almost like a visit to the china lady here . . .
jpotts Offline
#100 Posted: Mon, Nov 20 2006, 8:05 PM EST
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
All I know is that I've unfortunatly seen a few episodes of Real Sex on HBO in the not too distant past. When I start seeing a bunch of men beating drums, and bowing at a large stone phallus, and do this as a form of recreation, it only makes me come to the realization that SOME people out there need to find a genuine hobby. I mean, if you want to humilate yourself in front of a bunch of other men (who will, eventually humilate themselves in the process), take up golf.
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