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How to be a good Democrat
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Cigarick Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 10:05 AM EST
Joined: 07-28-2002
Posts: 3,078
Always amusing...

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding rather than by sodomy or needles shared by junkies.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese & North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate (such as the numerous Ice Ages) and more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs and/or by cow farts.

6. You have to believe that male/female gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters & fishermen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and really a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a perjurer and sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that parades displaying drag queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, but manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the government knows what is best for you, and that you do not know what is best for you.

22. You have to believe that everybody is a victim, and that nobody has to be responsible for his or her own actions.

23. You have to believe that having two mommies and no daddies is a good way to raise a child.

24. You have to believe that tax cuts, tax refunds and tax rebates should only go to people who never paid any taxes in the first place.

25. You have to believe that one-third of the adult population working for a living can somehow support 25% of the population on welfare and food stamps, 20% of the population employed by the government, and the rest retired.

26. You have to believe that spotted owls are an endangered species even though there are zillions of them in Canada.

27. You have to believe that this letter is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
Sylance Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 10:15 AM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
I’ve seen this before and love it... but you forgot one:

You can pinpoint where the Constitution says abortion is perfectly legal, but cannot find where it says we have the right to bear arms.
Sylance Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 10:21 AM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
Another one…

You have to believe it’s better to negotiate from a position of weakness rather than a position of strength.
JonR Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 10:34 AM EST
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
EWH ! EWH ! I got one !

You have to believe your telling the truth when in fact you are "Flip-Flopping".

JonR

Sylance Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 10:41 AM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
You have to believe flying the flag is being a neo-con, but burning it is patriotic because you’re practicing your right to free speech.
Sonny_LSU Offline
#6 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:10 PM EST
Joined: 11-21-2002
Posts: 1,835
Hey, Republicans, how does it feel to be in the MINORITY in this country???

Sylance Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:11 PM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
Sonny, does that mean the ACLU will begin to protect us and force judges to follow our special interests?
428cj Offline
#8 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:12 PM EST
Joined: 04-26-2003
Posts: 741
Hey Sonny, how does it feel to always have non-constructive posts?
Sylance Offline
#9 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:21 PM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
It just occurred to me that if Republicans are in fact the minority, shouldn’t affirmative action be applied to us now? Maybe a Republican vote should count as two votes, whereas the dominant Democrat vote only counts as one. Or maybe we should create a voting ratio to make sure we all get an equal voice… for every two Republicans who vote, one Democrat and five Independents can.

Of course, this is really stupid… but wait, so is affirmative action. Maybe a Democrat can explain how my above logic makes sense.
snowwolf777 Offline
#10 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:21 PM EST
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
Well, let's see: We have the White House, the Senate and the House. So I guess it's pretty good to be in the "minority".

snowwolf777 Offline
#11 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 12:22 PM EST
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
The polls should be kept open until 11 p.m. in all Republican voting districts. So the "minority" can have a chance to get out and vote.

EI Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 1:14 PM EST
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
Hey Sonny.....Nah Nah nah nah nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
thurson Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 2:38 PM EST
Joined: 06-26-2004
Posts: 3,919
Cigarick wrote;

"9. You have to believe that hunters & fishermen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do."

Hey, some of these loonies HAVE been outside of S. F., I've seen them in trees in Humbolt Co!

tim
tailgater Offline
#14 Posted: Wed, Jul 21 2004, 7:00 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
You revel in the glory days of JFK and his infamous "ask not what your country can do for you.." speech, then applaud his brother when he does everything in his power to go against it.
Charlie Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 7:17 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Hey Sonny_soon to be Georgia!

Newsflash for you: Republican Party has always been in minority when it comes to Democrats!

Charlie
Charlie Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 7:18 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
March with Jesse Jackson no matter the cause and feel like a well informed Democrat!

C
Sylance Offline
#17 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 8:27 AM EST
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
To be a good Democrat:

You must believe the world's instability is caused by America’s strength, and not believe America’s strength is a requirement because of the world’s instability.
MDavis Offline
#18 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 4:43 PM EST
Joined: 11-11-2003
Posts: 94
How to be a good Democrat:

You read these lame posts and snicker.
MACS Offline
#19 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 5:52 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,970
You have to believe that YOU deserve a bigger pay raise than the men and women actually getting shot at.

Ya'll forgot that one... the one MAIN reason I will always vote republican!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#20 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 11:56 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Cigarick

1. it's also spread by hetrosexual contact. this disease came from africa and spread like wildfire and if regean had done something about funding early on the epedimic might not have spread so rampantly. there is a place where the federal government has to step in.

2. i agree that sex education should be taught at home.

3. i would more worry about Chinese & North Korean communists.

4. there was always art, but part of what makes a culture great is it's wish to encourage art.

5. i don't understand your thinking. soccor mom's and cow farts, do not affect global warming. i thought republicans didn't believe in global warming.

6. that's total nonsense gender roles are usually determined by genes and are natural to the particular person with the particular genes.

7. we are the only "civilized" nation that still practices capital punishment, usually on minorities and the poor or mentally retarded. rich people rarely are executed.

8. goverment can only create prosperity through the wise use of laws to encourage business.

9. hunters and fisherman do care about nature. loonies also care.

10. i don't understand what you mean.

11. no one in his right mind believes that, except for coup d'états usually started by the military..

12. both go overboard for their particular agendas.

13. atm fees are too high, as well as banks money making fees, while the service at banks has
gotten worse.

14. they all have their place in the development of this country.

15. both use race as a fundemental and one day, hopefilly they can both be corrected.

16. i don't think she is a nice person, but she doesn't show any signs of psychosis..

17. socialism won't work regardless of who is in charge.

18. this is just BS. you need to let go of your psycotic need to hate clinton.

19. oranges and apples. religious marches are protected. a display of religion, always using christ as the as the lynch pin is a no no on property owned by all of us.

20. no it is not.

21. government does not know what is best for me and neither do you.

22. every one is responsible for his own actions. victims are not responsible for what happens to them. that is why they are called victims. One who is harmed or killed by another:

23. no it is not.

24. this is the BS that people with minimal incomes have been brain washed to believe and parrot to obfuscate the tax rewards given to wealthy contributers to the winning party.

25. it appears a major part of the adult working people do support corporate welfare in the form of tax breaks to coporations that contribute to the winning party.

26. owls are of little interest to me and i don't know how many make up a zillion.

27. i believe this letter is too long and is mostly prattle.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#21 Posted: Thu, Jul 22 2004, 11:57 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Sylance

i believe the founding fathers did that by creating both a congress and a senate. it was called the great compromise.
tailgater Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Jul 23 2004, 6:34 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Regarding #19 (drag queen parades vs nativity):
This is a subject which has seen a lot of press in Massachusetts in recent years, so I can attest to the fact that the premise is 100% correct.

Liberals in my state have pushed to allow gay marchers (i.e. demonstrators) in otherwise sexually neutral parades. The most well known is the Boston St Patricks day parade.
It seems that the "gay right" groups felt jilted because there was no exclusively gay group dancing down the streets along with the firefighters and elves.

On the flip side, certain towns who have had privately funded large scale nativity scenes each Christmas season on public common grounds have been told "no more". Even though the last few years had the Jewish Star of David proudly displayed, and there was no attempts to squelch anybody else's efforts to erect their own tasteful holiday symbols.

Now, I ask you honestly: Was the influence to force sexuality on a parade and to take offense to an age old tradition initiated by a conservative republican or a liberal democrat?

They bitch because they can.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Jul 23 2004, 7:53 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
tailgater

bitching is a grand old american tradition.

did you know the wild turkey almost became our symbol instead of the eagle. wiser heads prevailed.
tailgater Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Jul 23 2004, 5:50 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Wild Turkey?
I prefer MD 20/20.

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