HOW JIM ROME WOULD HANDLE IT:
Dear Dave,
I was just kidding about 6 weeks ago when I said I wanted to dump my hall of fame career, screw over my team mates, take my $8 mil signing bonus and retire, so I could smoke grass. It was all a big joke. Trick or treat. I'm really pumped and ready to play. I'm in great shape, I've been running from to the couch to the fridge and back at least 30 times a day, and I've put on about 40 pounds of solid muscle in my butt and abdomen. I've been lifting weights every day, 1 pound bacon sandwiches and Wendy's triple burgers and fries. They get pretty heavy you know.
But hey, I'm sure if you tell the guys it was all a big joke and that I'm not coming back just because I owe almost $9 million to the organization, they'll welcome me with open arms because they love me and I am the best running back ever.
I really want to play. Really. To prove it, I have even stopped smoking pot. As a matter of fact, just today. Oh and all my friends, I mean my friend, I mean my dope dealer has not really left me, he said he would be back when I had more money. Any way, Thanks Dave and...oh ya... I respect you. Ya, that's the ticket. I respect you. Call me.
Sincerely,
Ricky