A little background:
I am a 46 year old man that recently had a stroke in November. Due to this I have some things that just do not function as they use to. Example: I can not keep up with time. When I think I have only been awake for an hour or two my wife informs me I have been up for 24 to 28 hours. Also, spatial issues such as if I get a block away from my home I do not know which way to get back to the house. The minor issues partial blindness and stability issues. Blahh blahh so on and so forth. I am very much a noob when it comes to cigars.
I started smoking them back when I was given an Acid back in 1990's and it was just a here and there thing until now. Since my stroke I want to try and enjoy what I have left and partake in some of the finer things. Over the past month or so I seem to have acquired a taste for a natural type cigar. I like both mild to full, Connecticut and maduro ect and so on. What I do not know is what is a good cigar vs say a Gurkah. Now other than that here is where I would love to know if I have lost my marbles.
My Problem:
When it comes to being a noob to the cigar world and trying to pry information from people for advice and such, I tend to get the typical "Research", "Watch Reviews" ect... and here is where I think I have lost it.
Most research where I read reviews its just the same ole as the video reviews and that is where I get lost. In the videos I see some schmuck talking and they say "Stick this and Stick that" I am trying to figure out WTF is a stick. Is this like when the younger folks say " I cant adult today" and I am wanting to reply " Of course you can not but you are childing very well."
Then the videos go on to show the same schmuck taking a puff then smacking his lips around, you can hear his\her tongue flapping all on the roof of his\her mouth with the sounds of slobber flying like something from a porn gag film. I question if these people never heard of MISOPHONIA to the 10th power. I want to kill in a major way. Then they follow the slobber all over their chin maneuver with the follow up of "I taste...... Lilac, and Cream like at Starbucks and" (insert more lip smacking and slobber technique) "and something I just cant place... Oh its Rose Petal but no no wait....(more slobber and lip smacking) "Oh Oh I got it... On the rose there was a lady bug that took a big dump on the petal at high noon on Tuesday in 1974" WTFFFFFFFFFFFF...
.Now here is where I really think I have lost my mind. I have tried these Lilac and cream cigars that they are refering to that have rose notes with lady bug crap hints in them and I just don't taste it. I taste TOBACCO. Granted some are more spicy and peppery, I even get the leather kind of taste, the woodsy and even the dusty hay kind of kick or earthy kind of soil but that is about it unless I am smoking a cigar that has some kind of potpourri all over it (like acid) or something that has been infused with fake bathroom Drakar.....
I am asking you folks out there.... Have I lost My MIND???? Did my stroke blow up my taste buds??? Please help console me or let me know I am on the right path. Guidance is needed.Point me in the right direction please. If you would like to make any suggestions on what to try I am open to any. If you could tell me where to get good information for research or video reviews that don't have all the "I am trying to be an aristocrat" BS that would be great as well. Last but not least, If I have posted this in the wrong place let me know and I will delete it and move it to the proper place.
Thanks in advance
The pissed off, stroked out Ewok.....
PS: sorry for the simi rant but not really.