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Last post 4 years ago by USNGunner. 21 replies replies.
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CelticBomber Offline
#1 Posted: Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:04 AM EST
Joined: 05-03-2012
Posts: 6,786
To Steve02, clintCigar, USNGunner,

Your cigars are safe and sound in my humidor but I might not be mailing them out 'til Wednesday or Thursday. I woke up yesterday with a nasty cold or flu or Ebola. I don't want to handle your cigars right now and when my wife offered to box everything up I said "HOW DARE YOU! You my dear are not worthy to handle those beautifully rolled Cuban gateways to heaven!" Actually she told me to stop complaining and leave her alone. I'm going back to bed now. Don't worry, you're in my will." Cause right about now I'm praying for death. I hate getting sick.

P.S. If you start getting fever blisters after you get your smokes..... it wasn't me.
RMAN4443 Offline
#2 Posted: Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:10 AM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
CelticBomber wrote:
To Steve02, clintCigar, USNGunner,

Your cigars are safe and sound in my humidor but I might not be mailing them out 'til Wednesday or Thursday. I woke up yesterday with a nasty cold or flu or Ebola. I don't want to handle your cigars right now and when my wife offered to box everything up I said "HOW DARE YOU! You my dear are not worthy to handle those beautifully rolled Cuban gateways to heaven!" Actually she told me to stop complaining and leave her alone. I'm going back to bed now. Don't worry, you're in my will." Cause right about now I'm praying for death. I hate getting sick.

P.S. If you start getting Genital Warts and a milky discharge after you get your smokes..... it wasn't me.

Huh


Abrignac Offline
#3 Posted: Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:10 AM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,278
CelticBomber wrote:
To Steve02, clintCigar, USNGunner,

Your cigars are safe and sound in my humidor but I might not be mailing them out 'til Wednesday or Thursday. I woke up yesterday with a nasty cold or flu or Ebola. I don't want to handle your cigars right now and when my wife offered to box everything up I said "HOW DARE YOU! You my dear are not worthy to handle those beautifully rolled Cuban gateways to heaven!" Actually she told me to stop complaining and leave her alone. I'm going back to bed now. Don't worry, you're in my will." Cause right about now I'm praying for death. I hate getting sick.

P.S. If you start getting fever blisters after you get your smokes..... it wasn't me.


Fever blisters? Don’t think that was a cigar you put in your mouth. Just sayin........
USNGunner Offline
#4 Posted: Mon, Aug 26 2019, 12:04 PM EST
Joined: 05-17-2019
Posts: 4,402
LOL. No sweat buddy. Get well, it's all good.

As to warts or blisters, after 20 years in the Navy I'm either already exposed or immune. Just saying.
steve02 Offline
#5 Posted: Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:54 PM EST
Joined: 05-20-2004
Posts: 954
No rush - feel better
r.redmond Offline
#6 Posted: Tue, Aug 27 2019, 11:05 PM EST
Joined: 07-17-2019
Posts: 49
Get well soon!! Have you enjoyed any of the sticks I sent you? I would imagine you may have had all or most of them already.
JKilburn Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Aug 28 2019, 6:16 PM EST
Joined: 10-19-2011
Posts: 1,461
Must be in the air. My Fibro has been kicking my arse lately.
CelticBomber Offline
#8 Posted: Tue, Sep 3 2019, 11:33 AM EST
Joined: 05-03-2012
Posts: 6,786
I survived! I SURVIVED! The great and all powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster saw fit to spare me. Unfortunately I had to eat my oldest... I was in no shape to run to the store for food and my wife is Jewish. Allow me to paint the picture, she uses the phone to cook "Hello takeout?" and she burns ice cream just by scooping it. Her favorite wine is "I wanna go to Miami!" My wife,s cooking is so bad the flies pitched in to fix the screens. No Respect I tell ya....

Will hit the post office today boys. These boxes are ridiculously heavy for some reason. Whistle
USNGunner Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, Sep 3 2019, 11:37 AM EST
Joined: 05-17-2019
Posts: 4,402
CelticBomber wrote:
I survived! I SURVIVED! The great and all powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster saw fit to spare me. Unfortunately I had to eat my oldest... I was in no shape to run to the store for food and my wife is Jewish. Allow me to paint the picture, she uses the phone to cook "Hello takeout?" and she burns ice cream just by scooping it. Her favorite wine is "I wanna go to Miami!" My wife,s cooking is so bad the flies pitched in to fix the screens. No Respect I tell ya....

Will hit the post office today boys. These boxes are ridiculously heavy for some reason. Whistle


I was actually really starting to worry my friend. Uh, about you, not the cigars. Whistle

Seriously, glad to hear you're well. Welcome back. Take it easy, and beware, Flying spaghetti Monster season may be over, not now the Great Pumpkin "spice" monster is rearing it's ugly head. Stay Low.

V
clintCigar Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, Sep 3 2019, 3:02 PM EST
Joined: 05-14-2019
Posts: 4,682
LOL. Glad u feeling better Celtic.
frankj1 Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, Sep 3 2019, 5:02 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
CelticBomber wrote:
I survived! I SURVIVED! The great and all powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster saw fit to spare me. Unfortunately I had to eat my oldest... I was in no shape to run to the store for food and my wife is Jewish. Allow me to paint the picture, she uses the phone to cook "Hello takeout?" and she burns ice cream just by scooping it. Her favorite wine is "I wanna go to Miami!" My wife,s cooking is so bad the flies pitched in to fix the screens. No Respect I tell ya....

Will hit the post office today boys. These boxes are ridiculously heavy for some reason. Whistle

What does a Jewish wife make for dinner?


Reservations.
steve02 Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Sep 4 2019, 6:20 PM EST
Joined: 05-20-2004
Posts: 954
Now now - you know how to get a Jewish girl to stop having sex?

Marry her.

I’ve been married thrice and zero were jewesses.
frankj1 Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Sep 4 2019, 6:57 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
steve02 wrote:
Now now - you know how to get a Jewish girl to stop having sex?

Marry her.

I’ve been married thrice and zero were jewesses.

I'm one for one, and she actually does her share of cooking.
steve02 Offline
#14 Posted: Thu, Sep 5 2019, 11:21 AM EST
Joined: 05-20-2004
Posts: 954
frankj1 wrote:
I'm one for one, and she actually does her share of cooking.


Obviously, you’re either a better man than most or just lucky 😉
308spat Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Sep 5 2019, 3:57 PM EST
Joined: 09-05-2019
Posts: 4
frankj1 wrote:
What does a Jewish wife make for dinner?


Reservations.



Your Going to Hell.... Email me you prick!!!
crgcpro Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Sep 5 2019, 5:07 PM EST
Joined: 04-27-2012
Posts: 7,867
steve02 wrote:
Obviously, you’re either a better man than most or just lucky 😉


Well Frank's nickname is Frankie Tripod so that may have something to do with it!
izonfire Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, Sep 6 2019, 2:03 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,647
frankj1 wrote:
What does a Jewish wife make for dinner?

Reservations.


When arriving to the finest restaurant in town,
the maître d' asked if we had reservations.

I said "Yes, but we decided to come anyway"
frankj1 Offline
#18 Posted: Fri, Sep 6 2019, 2:30 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
308spat wrote:
Your Going to Hell.... Email me you prick!!!

I will.
be patient, grasshopper
CelticBomber Offline
#19 Posted: Sat, Sep 7 2019, 3:42 AM EST
Joined: 05-03-2012
Posts: 6,786
I wonder if we could hold a best ethnic joke contest without getting banned. We could have judges and prizes and everything! We could also do best wife or best husband jokes or..... OMG a potato! Bye!
CelticBomber Offline
#20 Posted: Sat, Sep 7 2019, 4:05 AM EST
Joined: 05-03-2012
Posts: 6,786
Abrignac wrote:
Fever blisters? Don’t think that was a cigar you put in your mouth. Just sayin........



Hmmm it was hard to light and there was some screaming involved...
USNGunner Offline
#21 Posted: Mon, Sep 9 2019, 12:48 PM EST
Joined: 05-17-2019
Posts: 4,402
Splash, thanks for the extras, it's greatly appreciated. Now I get to spend the next 3 months trying to get my mail lady to quit giving me the hairy eyeball. LOL!
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