Got this today and had not seen it before, thought some might like to read it.
George Carlinisms
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up
over"?
Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second
hand?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and
where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for
ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical
situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still
hear his Walkman?
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her
friends?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet
them?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the
whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make
fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with
sushi?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking
lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a
picture of a running child?
