Why did the state of Kentucky cancel the Christmas pageant? They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in the state.
What's long and hard on a Kentucky man?
The third grade!
Q: How can you tell if a Kentuckian is married?
A: There's dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why do Kentucky Basketball players rarely go to the pros?
A: They don't like the cut in pay
Q: Why didn't the Kentucky man want his son to marry a virgin?
A: Because if she isn't good enough for her brothers, she isn't good enough for our family.
This guy walks into a bar down in Kentucky and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here. Where you from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Boston." The bartender asks, "What do you do up in Boston?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what in God's green goodness is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount dead animals." The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar,
"It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
Q: Why don’t they have drivers ed and sexual education on the same day in Kentucky?
A: Because it is hard on the mules.
Q: Why do Kentuckians display their UK degrees on the dashboards of their cars?
A: So they can park in the handicapped zone.
Q: How do you catch a Kentuckian?
A: You follow him around real quiet like, and then, when he bends down to take a drink you slam the toilet seat lid down on his head.
Two truck drivers from Kentucky are driving down the road when they stop in front of an overpass. A sign posted on the overpass says "Warning, low clearance, 12 ft. The driver says, our truck is 13 ft. tall, what are we going to do? The truck driver riding shotgun looks left, right and in the rear view mirror, turns to the driver and says...go for it, I don't see any cops around.
Why bilt all them bridges 'cross the Ahia river?
So Kentuckians kin swim across in the shade.
How do we know the tooth brush was invented in
Kentucky?
If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called the teeth brush.
A Kentuckian , a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Kentuckian. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Kentuckian took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Kentuckian had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Kentuckian started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...
"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
What did the 12-year old Kentucky girl say to her father?
"Git off me Daddy, yer crushin' my cigarettes..."!!
Did you hear about the UK hockey team?
They all drowned during spring training.
What has 1,000 legs and 500 teeth?
The top row at Rupp Arena
A Kentucky Dissolution of Marriage.......
Q: What did the Kentucky man say to the Family Court judge upon filing for divorce??
A: "Judge, if'n I divorce my wife, will she still be my sister???"
