Subject: New Preamble

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.

This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm.

If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes .

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care.

That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.

If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God.. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

Uh-oh...

Would anyone care to explain something to me regarding the Constitution please? I am confused about something, and I'm far from being an expert on the Constitution. Something seems to have struck a chord in me.

I heard someone mention something they heard on the news regarding gay marriages (a recent hearing in some state...Iowa?), and correct me if I'm wrong here, but the courts (Supreme Court?) seem eager at times to allow gay marriages and say it is "unconstitutional" to ban gay marriages. But they don't step in and claim something "unconstitutional" when it pertains to outrageous taxes being imposed or when they try to ban weapons/guns. I'm just looking for some clarity here if possible. I have some other thoughts about all of this, but if someone can maybe shed some light on this for me and help me understand [wtf] is going on I'd apprciate...and maybe it would help clear up some other questions. Maybe I just don't understand what's going on...which could be the case.

^ ... let them get married already .... the divorce attorney's are going to love the extra business ...

I'd be proud to know that something like this came out of GA, but I'm sure snopes has already busted this.

No way someone in politics has the nerve to actually write something like that.

^

Yeah, it was really written by an angry woman.

BRB...

Letter from one "Angry Woman"

I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words This woman should run for president.

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capit ol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start cari ng when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

W hen I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to t he bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous beh avior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem" -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out."

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for yo u:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN!

Letta' from one "Angry Mama"

I duzn't know who wrote it but dey should gots signed it. Man! Some powerful wo'ds Dis honky chick should run fo' super-dude.

Written by some cribmama fum New Jersey and sounds likes it! Right on! Dis be one ticked off lady. Slap mah fro!

"Are we fightin' some war on terro' o' ain't we? Wuz it o' wuz it not started by Islamic sucka's who brought it t'our sho'es on Septemba' 11, 2001?

Were sucka's fum all upside de wo'ld, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered dat day, in waaay downtown Manhattan , across de Potomac fum our nashun's capit ol and in some field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly dree dousand men, honky chicks and children kick d' cud a ho'rible, burnin' o' crushin' dead dat day, o' dun didn't dey?

And I'm supposed t'care dat some copy uh de Ko'an wuz "desecrated" when an overwo'ked American soldia' kicked it o' gots it wet?...Well, ah' duzn't. ah' duzn't care at all.

I'll start cari ng when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents fo' incineratin' all dose innocent sucka's on 9/11.

I'll care about da damn Ko'an when de fanatics in de Middle East start carin' about da damn Holy Bible, de mere possession uh which be a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when dese dugs tell de wo'ld dey is so'ry fo' hackin' off Nick Berg's haid while Berg screamed drough his gurglin' slashed droat. Man!

I'll care when de cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq mosey on down out and fight likes dudes instead uh disrespectin' deir own religion by hidin' in mosques.

I'll care when de mindless zealots who blow demselves down in search uh nirvana care about da damn innocent children widin range uh deir suicide bombs.

I'll care when de American media stops pretendin' dat deir Fust Amendment liberties is somehow derived fum internashunal law instead uh de United States Constitushun's Bill uh Rights.

In de meantime, when ah' hear some sto'y about some brave marine roughin' down an Iraqi terro'ist t'obtain info'mashun, know dis, dig dis: ah' duzn't care.

W hen ah' see some fuzzy photo uh a pile uh naked Iraqi prisoners who gots been humiliated in whut amounts t'a college-hazin' incident, rest assho' mand, dig dis: ah' duzn't care.

When ah' see some wounded terro'ist dig shot in de haid when he be told not t'move cuz' he might be booby-trapped, ya' kin snatch it t't he bank, dig dis: ah' duzn't care.

When ah' hear dat some prisoner, who wuz issued some Ko'an and some praya' mat, and fed "special" food dat be paid fo' by mah' tax dollars, be complainin' dat his holy scribblin' be bein' "mishandled," ya' kin absolutely recon' in yo' heart uh hearts, dig dis: ah' duzn't care.

And oh, by de way, I've noticed dat sometimes it's spelled "Ko'an" and oda' times "Quran. 'S coo', bro." Well, Jimmy Crack Co'n and-ya' guessed it-I duzn't care ! Preach it loud, bruddah!

If ya' agree wid dis viewpoint, pass dis on t'all yo' E-mail homeys. Soona' o' later, it'll dig t'de sucka's responsible fo' dis ridiculous beh avio'! Right on!

If ya' duzn't agree, den by all means hit da damn delete button. 'S coo', bro. Should ya' choose da damn latter, den please duzn't complain when mo'e atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! Right on! And may ah' add, dig dis:

"Some sucka's spend an entire lifetime wonderin' if dey made some difference in de wo'ld. But, de Marines duzn't gots dat problem" -- Rolo Kingfish

I gots anoda' quote dat ah' would likes t'add AND.......I hope ya' fo'ward all dis.

"If we eva' fo'get dat we's One Nashun Unda' God, den we gots'ta be some nashun gone under. Ah be baaad..." Also by. Slap mah fro!. Rolo Kingfish

One last dought fo' de day, dig dis:

In case we find ourselves startin' t'recon' all de Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should rememba' England 's head honcho Tony Blair's wo'ds durin' some recent interview, so cut me some slack, Jack. When ax'ed by one uh his Parliament members why he recon's so's much in America , he said, dig dis: "A simple way t'snatch measho' man uh a country be to look at how many wants' in. 'S coo', bro.. And how many wants' out. Man!"

Only two definin' fo'ces gots eva' offered t'die fo' yo u, dig dis:

1. Jesus Christ

2. De American G. I.

One got wasted fo' yo' soul, de oda' fo' yo' freedom. WORD!

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN! Right on!

Letter frum oone-a "Ungry Vumun"

I dun't knoo vhu vrute-a it boot zeey shuoold hefe-a seegned it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Sume-a pooerffool vurds Thees vumun shuoold roon fur preseedent. Um de hur de hur de hur.

Vreettee by a huoosooeeffe-a frum Noo Jersey und suoonds leeke-a it! Thees is oone-a teecked ooffff ledy. Bork bork bork!

"Ere-a ve-a feeghting a ver oon terrur oor eren't ve-a? Ves it oor ves it nut sterted by Islemeec peuple-a vhu bruooght it tu oooor shures oon September 11, 2001?

Vere-a peuple-a frum ell oofer zee vurld, mustly Emereecuns, nut brootelly moordered thet dey, in doontoon Munhettun , ecruss zee Putumec frum oooor neshun's cepeet ool und in a feeeld in Pennsylfuneea ?

Deed neerly three-a thuoosund mee, vumee und cheeldree deee-a a hurreeble-a, boorneeng oor croosheeng deet thet dey, oor deedn't zeey?

Und I'm sooppused tu cere-a thet a cupy ooff zee Kurun ves "desecreted" vhee un oofervurked Emereecun suldeeer keecked it oor gut it vet?...Vell, I dun't. Um de hur de hur de hur. I dun't cere-a et ell.

I'll stert ceree ng vhee Oosema been Ledee toorns heemselff in und repents fur inceenereting ell thuse-a innucent peuple-a oon 9/11.

I'll cere-a ebuoot zee Kurun vhee zee funeteecs in zee Meeddle-a Iest stert cereeng ebuoot zee Huly Beeble-a, zee mere-a pussesseeun ooff vheech is a creeme-a in Soodee Erebeea .

I'll cere-a vhee zeese-a thoogs tell zee vurld zeey ere-a surry fur heckeeng ooffff Neeck Berg's heed vheele-a Berg screemed thruoogh hees goorgleeng sleshed thruet. Um de hur de hur de hur.

I'll cere-a vhee zee cooerdly su-celled "insoorgents" in Ireq cume-a oooot und feeght leeke-a mee insteed ooff deesrespecting zeeur oovn releegiun by heeding in musqooes. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

I'll cere-a vhee zee meendless zeeluts vhu bloo zeemselfes up in seerch ooff nurfuna cere-a ebuoot zee innucent cheeldree veethin runge-a ooff zeeur sooeecide-a bumbs. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

I'll cere-a vhee zee Emereecun medeea stups pretendeeng thet zeeur Furst Emendment leeberties ere-a sumehoo dereefed frum interneshunel lev insteed ooff zee Uneeted Stetes Cunsteetooshun's Beell ooff Reeghts. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

In zee meunteeme-a, vhee I heer a stury ebuoot a brefe-a mereene-a ruoogheeng up un Ireqee terrureest tu oobteeen inffurmeshun, knoo thees: I dun't cere-a.

V hee I see-a a foozzy phutu ooff a peele-a ooff neked Ireqee preesuners vhu hefe-a beee hoomeelieted in vhet emuoonts tu a cullege-a-hezeeng inceedent, rest essoored: I dun't cere-a.

Vhee I see-a a vuoonded terrureest get shut in zee heed vhee he-a is tuld nut tu mufe-a becoose-a he-a meeght be-a buuby-trepped, yuoo cun teke-a it tu t he-a bunk: I dun't cere-a.

Vhee I heer thet a preesuner, vhu ves issooed a Kurun und a preyer met, und fed "speceeel" fuud thet is peeed fur by my tex dullers, is cumpleeening thet hees huly buuk is beeeng "meeshundled," yuoo cun ebsulootely beleeefe-a in yuoor heert ooff heerts: I dun't cere-a.

Und ooh, by zee vey, I'fe-a nuteeced thet sumeteemes it's spelled "Kurun" und oozeer teemes "Qoorun." Vell, Jeemmy Creck Curn und-yuoo gooessed it-I dun't cere-a !!

Iff yuoo egree-a veet thees feeoopuint, pess thees oon tu ell yuoor I-meeel freeends. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Suuner oor leter, it'll get tu zee peuple-a respunseeble-a fur thees reedicooluoos beh efeeur!

Iff yuoo dun't egree-a, zeen by ell meuns heet zee delete-a boottun. Bork bork bork! Shuoold yuoo chuuse-a zee letter, zeen pleese-a dun't cumpleeen vhee mure-a etruceeties cummeetted by redeecel Moosleems heppee here-a in oooor greet Cuoontry! Und mey I edd:

"Sume-a peuple-a spend un inture-a leeffetime-a vundereeng iff zeey mede-a a deefffference-a in zee vurld. Bork bork bork! Boot, zee Mereenes dun't hefe-a thet prublem" -- Runeld Reegun

I hefe-a unuzeer qooute-a thet I vuoold leeke-a tu edd END.......I hupe-a yuoo furverd ell thees. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

"Iff ve-a ifer furget thet ve're-a Oone-a Neshun Under Gud, zeen ve-a veell be-a a neshun gune-a under. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!" Elsu by. Bork bork bork!. Runeld Reegun

One-a lest thuooght fur zee dey:

In cese-a ve-a feend oooorselfes sterteeng tu beleeefe-a ell zee Untee-Emereecun senteement und negeteefity, ve-a shuoold remember Inglund 's Preeme-a Meenister Tuny Bleur's vurds dooreeng a recent interfeeoo. Vhee esked by oone-a ooff hees Perleeement members vhy he-a beleeefes su mooch in Emereeca , he-a seeed: "A seemple-a vey tu teke-a meesoore-a ooff a cuoontry is tu luuk et hoo muny vunt in. Bork bork bork!. Und hoo muny vunt oooot. Um de hur de hur de hur."

Oonly tvu deffeening furces hefe-a ifer ooffffered tu deee-a fur yu u:

1. Jesoos Chreest

2. Zee Emereecun G. I.

Oone-a deeed fur yuoor suool, zee oozeer fur yuoor freedum.

YOOo MIGHT VENT TO PESS THIS OoN, ES MENY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OoF THEM. EMEN!

NEV PREEMBLE TO THE CONSTITOoTION

Thees is prubebly zee best i-meeel I’fe-a seee in a lung, lung teeme-a. Zee fullooeeng hes beee ettreebooted tu Stete-a Representeteefe-a Meetchell Keye-a frum GA. Thees gooy shuoold roon fur Preseedent oone-a dey. Bork bork bork!..

"Ve-a zee senseeble-a peuple-a ooff zee Uneeted Stetes, in un ettempt tu help iferyune-a get elung, resture-a sume-a semblunce-a ooff joosteece-a, efueed mure-a reeuts, keep oooor neshun seffe-a, prumute-a puseetife-a behefeeur, und secoore-a zee blesseengs ooff debt-free-a leeberty tu oooorselfes und oooor greet-greet-greet-grundcheeldree, hereby try oone-a mure-a teeme-a tu oordeeen und istebleesh sume-a cummun sense-a gooeedelines fur zee termeenelly vheeny, gooeelt reeddee, delooseeunel, und oozeer leeberel bed-vetters. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Ve-a huld zeese-a trooths tu be-a selff ifeedent: thet a vhule-a lut ooff peuple-a ere-a cunffoosed by zee Beell ooff Reeghts und ere-a su deem zeey reqooure-a a Beell ooff NON-Reeghts. Um gesh dee bork, bork!"

ERTICLE I: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu a noo cer, beeg screee TF, oor uny oozeer furm ooff veelt. Mure-a pooer tu yuoo iff yuoo cun legelly ecqooure-a zeem, boot nu oone-a is gooerunteeeeng unytheeng.

ERTICLE II: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu nefer be-a ooffffended. Bork bork bork! Thees cuoontry is besed oon freedum, und thet meuns freedum fur iferyune-a -- nut joost yuoo! Yuoo mey leefe-a zee ruum, toorn zee chunnel, ixpress a deefffferent oopeeniun, itc; boot zee vurld is fooll ooff ideeuts, und prubebly elveys veell be-a.

ERTICLE III: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu be-a free-a frum herm. Iff yuoo steeck a scroodreefer in yuoor iye-a, leern tu be-a mure-a cereffool; du nut ixpect zee tuul munooffectoorer tu meke-a yuoo und ell yuoor releteefes independently veelthy. Bork bork bork!

ERTICLE IF: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu free-a fuud und huooseeng. Emereecuns ere-a zee must chereeteble-a peuple-a tu be-a fuoond, und veell gledly help unyune-a in need, boot ve-a ere-a qooeeckly grooeeng veery ooff soobseedizing genereshun effter genereshun ooff pruffesseeunel cuooch putetues vhu echeeefe-a nutheeng mure-a thun zee creeshun ooff unuzeer genereshun ooff pruffesseeunel cuooch putetues .

ERTICLE F: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu free-a heelt cere-a. Thet vuoold be-a neece-a, boot frum zee luuks ooff poobleec huooseeng, ve-a’re-a joost nut interested in poobleec heelt cere-a.

ERTICLE FI: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu physeecelly herm oozeer peuple-a. Iff yuoo keednep, repe-a, intenshunelly meeem, oor keell sumeune-a, dun’t be-a soorpreesed iff zee rest ooff us vunt tu see-a yuoo fry in zee ilectreec cheur.

ERTICLE FII: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu zee pussesseeuns ooff oozeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Iff yuoo rub, cheet, oor cuerce-a evey zee guuds oor serfeeces ooff oozeer ceetizens, dun’t be-a soorpreesed iff zee rest ooff us get tugezeer und luck yuoo evey in a plece-a vhere-a yuoo steell vun’t hefe-a zee reeght tu a beeg screee culur TF oor a leeffe-a ooff leeesoore-a.

ERTICLE FIII: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu a jub. Ell ooff us soore-a vunt yuoo tu hefe-a a jub, und veell gledly help yuoo elung in herd teemes, boot ve-a ixpect yuoo tu teke-a edfuntege-a ooff zee ooppurtooneeties ooff idooceshun und fuceshunel treeening leeed beffure-a yuoo tu meke-a yuoorselff useffool. (EMEN!)

ERTICLE IX: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu heppeeness. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Beeeng un Emereecun meuns thet yuoo hefe-a zee reeght tu POoRSOoE heppeeness, vheech by zee vey, is a lut ieseeer iff yuoo ere-a unencoombered by un oofer eboondunce-a ooff ideeutic levs creeted by thuse-a ooff yuoo vhu vere-a cunffoosed by zee Beell ooff Reeghts. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

ERTICLE X: Thees is un Ingleesh speekeeng cuoontry. Bork bork bork! Ve-a dun’t cere-a vhere-a yuoo ere-a frum, Ingleesh is oooor lungooege-a. Leern it oor gu beck tu vherefer yuoo ceme-a frum! (Lestly. Bork bork bork!...)

ERTICLE XI: Yuoo du nut hefe-a zee reeght tu chunge-a oooor cuoontry’s heestury oor hereetege-a. Thees cuoontry ves fuoonded oon zee beleeeff in oone-a trooe-a Gud. Bork bork bork!. Und yet, yuoo ere-a geefee zee freedum tu beleeefe-a in uny releegiun, uny feeet, oor nu feeet et ell; veet nu feer ooff persecooshun Zee phrese-a IN GOD VE TROoST is pert ooff oooor hereetege-a und heestury, und iff yuoo ere-a uncumffurteble-a veet it, TOOoGH!

Letter fum one "Angry Woomin"

ah doesn't knows who wrote it but they sh'd haf signed it. Some pow'ful wo'ds This hyar woomin sh'd helter-skelter fo' president.

Writ by a housewife fum Noo Jersey an' soun's like it! Fry mah hide! This hyar is one ticked off lady.

"Is we fightin' a war on terro' o' isn't we? Was it o' was it not started by Islamic varmints who brought it t'our sho'es on Seppember 11, 2001?

Were varmints fum all on over th' wo'ld, mostly South Car'linans, not brutally murdered thet day, in downtown Manhattan , acrost th' Potomac fum our nashun's capit ol an' in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousan' men, wimmen an' chillun die a ho'rible, burnin' o' crushin' death thet day, o' didn't they?

An' ah's supposed t'care thet a copy of th' Ko'an was "desecrated" when an on overwawked South Car'linan soldier kicked it o' got it wet?...Wal, ah doesn't. ah doesn't care at all, ah reckon.

I'll start cari ng when Osama bin Laden turns hisse'f in an' repents fo' incineratin' all them innercent varmints on 9/11.

I'll care about th' Ko'an when th' fanatics in th' Middle East start carin' about th' Holy Bible, th' mere postesshun of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when these thugs tell th' wo'ld they is so'ry fo' hackin' off Nick Berg's haid while Berg screamed through his gurglin' slashed throat.

I'll care when th' cowardly so-called "insurjunts" in Iraq come out an' fight like min instead of disrespeckin' their own religion by hidin' in mosques.

I'll care when th' mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about th' innercent chillun wifin range of their sueycide bombs.

I'll care when th' South Car'linan media stops pretendin' thet their Fust Amendment liberties is somehow derived fum internashunal law instead of th' United States Consteetooshun's Billy Joe of Rights.

In th' meantime, when ah hear a sto'y about a brave marine roughin' up an Iraqi terro'ist t'obtain info'mashun, knows this: ah doesn't care.

W hen ah see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who haf been hoomiliated in whut amounts t'a college-hazin' incident, ress assured: ah doesn't care.

When ah see a woun'ed terro'ist git shot in th' haid when he is told not t'move on account o' he might be booby-trapped, yo' kin take it t't he bank: ah doesn't care.

When ah hear thet a prisoner, who was issued a Ko'an an' a prayer mat, an' fed "special" grub thet is paid fo' by mah tax dollars, is complainin' thet his holy book is bein' "mishan'led," yo' kin absolutely believe in yer heart of hearts: ah doesn't care.

An' oh, by th' way, I've noticed thet sometimes it's spelled "Ko'an" an' other times "Quran, as enny fool kin plainly see." Wal, Jimmah Crack Co'n an'-yo' guessed it-ah doesn't care ! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

Eff'n yo' agree wif this hyar viewpoint, pass this hyar on t'all yer E-mail friends. Sooner o' later, it'll git t'th' varmints responsible fo' this hyar ridiculous beh avio'! Fry mah hide!

Eff'n yo' doesn't agree, then by all means hit th' delete button, as enny fool kin plainly see. Sh'd yo' choose th' latter, then please doesn't complain when mo'e atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen hyar in our great Country! Fry mah hide! An' may ah add:

"Some varmints spend an intire lifetime wonnerin' eff'n they made a difference in th' wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. But, th' Marines doesn't haf thet problem" -- Chattanooga Reagan

ah have t'other quote thet ah w'd like t'add AND.......ah hope yo' fo'ward all this.

"Eff'n we evah fo'git thet we is One Nashun Unner God, then we will be a nashun gone unner." Also by.. Chattanooga Reagan

One last thunk fo' th' day:

In case we find ourselves startin' t'believe all th' Anti-South Car'linan sentiment an' negativity, we sh'd remember Englan' 's Prime Minister Chattanooga Blair's wo'ds durin' a recent interview. When axed by one of his Parliament members whuffo' he believes so much in South Car'lina , he said: "A simple way t'take measure of a country is t'look at how menny be hankerin' in, as enny fool kin plainly see.. An' how menny be hankerin' out."

Only two definin' fo'ces haf evah offered t'die fo' yo u:

1. Jesus Jedt

2. Th' South Car'linan G. I.

One died fo' yer soul, t'other fo' yer freedom, dawgone it.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN! Fry mah hide!

Wettew fwom one "Angwy Elmer Fudd"

I don't know who wwote it but they shouwd have signed it. Some powewfuw wowds Dis woman shouwd wun fow pwesident.

Wwitten by a housewife fwom New Jewsey and sounds wike it! Dis is one ticked off wady.

"Awe we fighting a waw on tewwow ow awen't we? Was it ow was it not stawted by Iswamic peopwe who bwought it to ouw showes on Septembew 11, 2001?

Wewe peopwe fwom aww ovew the wowwd, mostwy Amewicans, not bwutawwy muwdewed that day, in downtown Manhattan , acwoss the Potomac fwom ouw nation's capit ow and in a fiewd in Pennsywvania ?

Did neawwy thwee thousand men, women and chiwdwen die a howwibwe, buwning ow cwushing deaf that day, ow didn't they?

And I'm supposed to cawe that a copy of the Kowan was "desecwated" when an ovewwowked Amewican sowdiew kicked it ow got it wet?...Weww, I don't. I don't cawe at aww.

I'ww stawt cawi ng when Osama bin Waden tuwns himsewf in and wepents fow incinewating aww those innocent peopwe on 9/11.

I'ww cawe about the Kowan when the fanatics in the Middwe East stawt cawing about the Howy Bibwe, the mewe possession of which is a cwime in Saudi Awabia .

I'ww cawe when these thugs teww the wowwd they awe sowwy fow hacking off Nick Bewg's head whiwe Bewg scweamed thwough his guwgwing swashed thwoat.

I'ww cawe when the cowawdwy so-cawwed "insuwgents" in Iwaq come out and fight wike men instead of diswespecting theiw own wewigion by hiding in mosqwes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

I'ww cawe when the mindwess zeawots who bwow themsewves up in seawch of niwvana cawe about the innocent chiwdwen within wange of theiw suicide bombs. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

I'ww cawe when the Amewican media stops pwetending that theiw Fiwst Amendment wibewties awe somehow dewived fwom intewnationaw waw instead of the United States Constitution's Biww of Wights. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

In the meantime, when I heaw a stowy about a bwave mawine woughing up an Iwaqi tewwowist to obtain infowmation, know this: I don't cawe.

W hen I see a fuzzy photo of a piwe of naked Iwaqi pwisonews who have been humiwiated in what amounts to a cowwege-hazing incident, west assuwed: I don't cawe.

When I see a wounded tewwowist get shot in the head when he is towd not to move because he might be booby-twapped, you can take it to t he bank: I don't cawe.

When I heaw that a pwisonew, who was issued a Kowan and a pwayew mat, and fed "speciaw" food that is paid fow by my tax dowwaws, is compwaining that his howy book is being "mishandwed," you can absowutewy bewieve in youw heawt of heawts: I don't cawe.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spewwed "Kowan" and othew times "Qwwan, uh-hah-hah-hah. " Weww, Jimmy Cwack Cown and-you guessed it-I don't cawe !!

If you agwee wif this viewpoint, pass this on to aww youw E-maiw fwiends. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Soonew ow watew, it'ww get to the peopwe wesponsibwe fow this widicuwous beh aviow!

If you don't agwee, then by aww means hit the dewete button, uh-hah-hah-hah. Shouwd you choose the wattew, then pwease don't compwain when mowe atwocities committed by wadicaw Muswims happen hewe in ouw gweat Countwy! And may I add:

"Some peopwe spend an entiwe wifetime wondewing if they made a diffewence in the wowwd. But, the Mawines don't have that pwobwem" -- Wonawd Weagan

I have anothew qwote that I wouwd wike to add AND.......I hope you fowwawd aww this. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

"If we evew fowget that we'we One Nation Undew God, then we wiww be a nation gone undew." Awso by.. Wonawd Weagan

One wast thought fow the day:

In case we find ouwsewves stawting to bewieve aww the Anti-Amewican sentiment and negativity, we shouwd wemembew Engwand 's Pwime Ministew Tony Bwaiw's wowds duwing a wecent intewview. When asked by one of his Pawwiament membews why he bewieves so much in Amewica , he said: "A simpwe way to take measuwe of a countwy is to wook at how many want in, uh-hah-hah-hah. . And how many want out."

Onwy two defining fowces have evew offewed to die fow yo u:

1. Jesus Chwist

2. De Amewican G. I.

One died fow youw souw, the othew fow youw fweedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS DIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FOWGET BOF OF DEM. AMEN!

She's got some madd computer skilz too!

l3tt3r from om angry chiX0r

i dont know wh0 wrOt3 it but they shuold hazve sgined it!!!!!!!!~~~~ lll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 some poewarfo7 wrods tHis babe shuld run fopr president!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

written b ya housewifE from new jaars3y and sounds like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ this si one tiX0red off 7ady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

ar we f1Ghting a war o nterrro or arnt we???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??? lololol wAs it or wsas it ni tstArted bY islamic d0Od3z whop broyught 1t to 0ur shRo3s opn sdeptemb3r l1, 2001??????????????????!!!!!?????????

WERE LAMeZR FFOM AL OVER THEWORLD, MOSTLY 4mARICANS NOT BRUT4LLY MURDERED THAT DAUY ,1N DOWNTOWN MNAHATTAN , ACR0SS TEH POTOM4C FFROM OURNATIONS CAPIT OL AND N Z FEILD 1N PE|\|NSYLVANIA ??????????????

did near7 ythree thous4ndm 3n, hot chiXOtz 4nd childr3n de1 a hroRoblE burning opr dcrushing death that sda,y or didnT tehy????????????????

and im supopseD ot care that a copy of The Kro4n was deasEcrated when a n overwrpoke Amarcian soldeir kiXZ)red it or got it wdet??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? ... . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ WELL, I ONT... lolololoololol!!!!!1 I DONT CARE AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ lolololololooolo~~~

ill start cari ng when osam4 bin laden tUrnz himselkf ni and repnets fro incinerat1ng all thOse innocent LaMeRz on 9/11

il7 cr about the kroan whe|\| the faNaticz int he middle eats start Carinng about the hO7y bible, reh mere possesSion of Which is a cr1/\/\3 in saud1 a rabia .. olollloolo~

1lkl C4r when tehs3 thugz tell the wrold they are sror yfor AhXr0ijng off nix0r bergs ehad while berf screqamed through his gurtgling slazshed throat~~~~~~~

1ll car3 when the coward7y so-call3d inurgents in irAq come out and fight like men insead of fisr3specvtin gtheirt 0nw religfino byy hiding in mosques~~ you 4re suck!!!!!111~~~~

ill cArE when thhe mindless zealots who b7ow th3mselves u; in seacrh 0ff nirvqna car about teh iNnocent children withi nr4nge of th3i dsuicide b0/\/\bs/

1ll cR when t3h amariacnm media stOps pretendimg that their firsta mendment liberteis r someho\\\\////\\\\//// dariveed from i|\|tarentional law instead of tHe uNiTed stz8 constitutio|\|s bil7 of Rights

IN TE HMEANIT/\/\E, WHEN IHEAR ZA STROY ABOUT A BRAV3 MARINE ROUGHING UP AN IRQAI TERRRR0ISAT TO OBTAiN 1NFORM4TIoN, KNOW THIS: I dONT CAR HAX0R YOUIUUUUUU cuz I wi7l ahck youuuuuu~~~

w hen i seea uzzy photo ofd a pile of naked 1raqi pr1soners whop have been humiliAted i|\| what amounts to a coll3ge-hazig incident, rest assru3d: i dont care,,,

when i see 4 wounDed terRroist get shoOt in the head qhen h3 is told not to move b3caus3 He mIght be booby-tappedf, you can t4Ke it to t hew Bank: I dOnt car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~

when i hear that ap risoner, hwo wa sissued a kroan and a pr4yer mat, and feD specia7 fopoD that is paid for by my tax do7lara, si complaining that his holy books i bb1enG mishadnled, you can basoluetly be7eive in ur h3art of hearts: i domt car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~

and OH, by twh way, ive notcied tha tsomertimeas itz spelled koRAn aznd oethr ti/\/\es quran!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, Jimmy craX0r rcon and-u gUess3d it-i dot cr ~~ OLLLOLOL

IF U AGREE WITH THIS EVIWPOINT, PSS THIS ON TO ALL YOR E-MAI7 LaEMRS... sooNer or laTer, itll Get t0 the doodz resopnsilbe fro this ridiculous b3h a\/ir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~

if uoudont agree, tEhn by all; meanz iht the delet egbuTton!!!!!!!!!!! should you choose teh latter, Ehnp lz dont complain when mro3 atr0citeis committed by r4Dic7 muslimz happenh erE In our grate country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ and ma yoi add:

some LamezR spend an entoir3 lif3time wondraing 1f they made a difference in teh \\\\////\\\\////orld.. but, teh mar1nes dont have that probl3M -- ron4ld reagan

i ahvbe anotrher quoet that i would lik3 to adf and!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ ... OLOLOLOLOLOLOLLO~~~~~ THEIR IS A RTAIO DONT TRIPE ME OfF ... .. !!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ lololooololloolo ~~~~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ . i hope ypou froward all tihs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~

if we eveR forget hhat \\\\////\\\\////ere one nation under goD, then we wIll be an 4tionn gone undsar!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL also by. LOLLOLOLOOLOLOLLO~~ ,,, lolooloolololo.. ronald rre4ga|\|

oN e lastthought for tehh day:

in casew e find oursevles starti|\|g to beleive all reh a|\|ti-aMeeicsan s3ntiment and njegativiut,y wE should remebar engla|\|d z rime min1star tony balirs woreds during a receNt 1ntarv3ie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when ask3db y on of his parliameNt members why h belEives s0 much in maerica , he said: a simp7e way t o take mesaurt3 of a country is to look at Howm any want n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ and h0w many want out..

ONLY T\\\\////\\\\////O DEFINING FR0CE HAVE EVAR OFF4RED TO DEI FR0 YO U:

1~~~ oololoolololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ IWI7L HACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ jesUs christ

2!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO... teh amaric4n g. gI!!!!!!!1

ONE DEID FOR YOURE OSUL, THE OTHER FRO YOUR FREEDON!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~

YPOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS O, AS MANY SE3M TO FORG3T BOTH OF THEM AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!111

"We da damn sensible sucka's uh de United States, in an attempt t'help everyone git along, resto'e some semblance uh justice, avoid mo'e riots, keep our nashun safe, promote positive behavio', and secure da damn blessin's uh debt-free liberty t'ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one mo'e time t'o'dain and establish some common sense guidelines fo' de terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and oda' liberal bed-wetters. We hold dese truds t'be self evident, dig dis: dat some whole lot uh sucka's are confused by de Bill uh Rights and are so's dim dey require some Bill uh NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You's do not gots' de right t'a new car, big-ass screen TV, o' any oda' fo'm uh weald. Mo'e powa' to ya' if ya' kin legally acquire dem, but no one be guaranteein' anydin'.

ARTICLE II: You's do not gots' de right t'neva' be offended. Dis country be based on freedom, and dat means freedom fo' everyone -- not plum ya'. Right On! You's may leave da damn room, turn de channel, 'espress some different opinion, etc; but da damn wo'ld be full uh idiots, and probably always gots'ta be. What it is, Mama!

ARTICLE III: You's do not gots' de right t'be free fum harm. 'S coo', bro. If ya' stick some screwrollr in yo' eye, learn t'be mo'e careful; do not 'espect da damn tool manufactura' to make ya' and all yo' relatives independently wealdy. Slap mah fro!

ARTICLE IV: You's do not gots' de right t'free food and housin'. Americans are da damn most charitable sucka's t'be found, and gots'ta gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growin' weary uh subsidizin' generashun afta' generashun uh professional couch potatoes who achieve nodin' mo'e dan de creashun uh anoda' generashun uh professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You's do not gots' de right t'free heald care. What it is, Mama! Dat would be supa' fine, but fum de looks uh public housin', were plum not interested in public heald care. What it is, Mama!

ARTICLE VI: You's do not gots' de right t'physically harm oda' sucka's. If ya' kidnap, rape, intenshunally maim, o' kill someone, dont be surprised if de rest uh us wanna see ya' fry in de electric cfro.

ARTICLE VII: You's do not gots' de right t'de possessions uh oders. If ya' rob, cheat, o' coerce away de baaaads o' services uh oda' citizens, dont be surprised if de rest uh us git togeda' and lock ya' away in some place where ya' still wont gots' de right t'a big-ass screen colo' TV o' some life uh leisho' nuff.

ARTICLE VIII: You's do not gots' de right t'a job. Sheeeiit. All uh us sho' nuff wants' ya' t'gots' some job, and gots'ta gladly help ya' along in hard times, but we 'espect ya' t' snatch advantage uh de oppo'tunities uh educashun and vocashunal trainin' laid befo'e ya' t'make yo'self useful. (AMEN. Right On! )

ARTICLE IX: You's do not gots' de right t'happiness. Bein' an American means dat ya' gots' de right t'PURSUE happiness, which by de way, be a lot easia' if ya' are unencumbered by an ova' abunboogy of idiotic laws created by dose uh ya' who wuz confused by de Bill uh Rights.

ARTICLE X: Dis be an English speakin' country. Slap mah fro! We dont care where ya' are fum, English be our language. What it is, Mama! Learn it o' go back t'whereva' ya' came fum. Right On! (Lastly. Slap mah fro!...)

ARTICLE XI: You's do not gots' de right t'change our countrys histo'y o' heritage. What it is, Mama! Dis country wuz founded on de belief in one true God.. And yet, ya' are given de freedom t'believe in any religion, any faid, o' no faid at all; wid no fear uh puh'secushun De phrase IN GOD WE TRUST be part uh our heritage and histo'y, and if ya' are uncomfo'table wid it, TOUGH. Right On!

Here's a version just for Whislebritches...

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Thread of the week!

Coop, you might be certifiable with the whistlebritches post...

Thats funny.

re:3 above.

Even though this thread has gone beyond the absurd, .....

Be careful not to confuse the US Constitution with any individual state's constitution. Without getting too far into it (in big part because I am not qualified to speak on legal matters correctly) a state constitution can expand on the rights given by the federal constitution but cannot restrict rights. The states whose supreme courts have ruled that banning gay marriage violates the constitution have language that defines things that way. You'd have to consult with someone more knowledgeable about the specifics of any particular state's constitution and language if you want more specifics.