A VERY ugly man walks into a bar with a big grin on his face, and orders a draft beer.

'What are you so happy about?', asks the Bartender.

'Well, I'll tell you,' replies the ugly man.. 'As you know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home from the bar, last night, I discovered a young woman tied to the tracks, just like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free, and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything: me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!'

'Fantastic, you lucky bassard!', exclaimed the Bartender. Was she pretty?'

'Don't know. Never found her head."

I'm ashamed to admit I laughed.

(bowing head trying to think of ANYTHING that'll top this masterpiece)

Bloody,

... nice to see you relaxing and unwinding on the boards ...

... seriously ... I mean that ...

Nyuck, nyuck.

Thanks, Jimmy. It helps.

Believe it or not, I'm brainstorming on a couple of projects while I post... the pickings are lean here though. LOL

... sometimes ... you just gotta' get farked up and stare at the stars while hitting a good cigar to get a brain wave to crossover into an idea ...

Bloody is brainstorming????

Uh Oh........better get my little cocktail umbrella.

you named it your little cocktail umbrella?

mine is called thor

LOL@cocktail umbrella- ending with a party favor I'm sure.

WTH are we talking 'bout?

the guy is complaining to his friend that he's just gone bankrupt.

"How did that happen?" his friend asks.

"Well, gradually at first, and then it happened all of a sudden..." was the reply