One California woman said she could still produce milk four years after giving birth—and showed off this useless skill to the poor souls trying to have a peaceful lunch at a pizza parlor, without her spritzing and mooing them.

When the police arrived, she squirted the sergeant in the face with milk. According to Stupid Sex, she had a history of "unauthorized squirting." This included one case in which she squirted milk at a man while shouting: "Bet you can't do this, sonny!"

Ha !

wheel,

I like Waffles

you can milk anything with nipples.

why does everyone cry over spilt milk?

Some people pay big bucks for that.

I remember way back, when i was just a boy

goin' places with my mom and dad

It used to scare me to death,

how mamma used to act

after six or seven beers she's had

We were sittin' at a table,

when mamma got disabled,

all the liquor runnin' through her head

Soon i got to chokin', daddy wasn't jokin',

when he grabbed me by the arm and said

Don't look now, mamma's got her boobs out,

showin' everybody in town

Faces turnin' red,

we were wishin' we were dead

There were people standin' all around, yeah

When mamma get to drinkin,

there ain't much thinkin'

There's nothing anybody can do

you just hope and pray

there never comes a day,

when mamma's out drinkin' with you

Well, we got her in a truck,

and we started drivin' home,

when mamma said she had to go

Daddy pulled over,

we were standin' on a shoulder,

while mom was puttin' on a show

Well, he started up the truck,

and mamma stood up,

with the pants still around her knees

When we heard mamma holler

if you give me a dollar,

i'll let you take a peek at these

Don't look now, mamma's got her boobs out,

showin' everybody in town

Faces turnin' red,

we were wishin' we were dead

There were people standin' all around

When mamma get to drinkin',

There ain't much thinkin'

There's nothing anybody can do

you just hope and pray

there never comes a day,

when mamma's out drinkin with you.

Momma's got a squeeze box

She wears on her chest.

And when my daddy comes home

He never gets no rest.

7 out of 10 girls have nipple hair.

^ Thats because 7-10 girls date guys w/mustaches/beards.