Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Ten...One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness!

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. But the light might go out if you don't mail your donation today!

Q: How many liberal Lutheran theologians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: At least 10, because they need to debate whether the light bulb exists. If they agree upon the bulb's existence, they might refrain from changing it to avoid alienating those who use other forms of light.

Q: How many independent fundamentalist Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one. Any more might result in too much cooperation.

Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They prefer candles!

Top 10 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Jesus--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

•No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

•Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

•Beer has never caused a major war.

•They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

•When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

•Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

•You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.

•There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.

•You can prove you have a Beer.

•If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to fill the bathtub with lime Jell-O and one to shave the giraffe.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Define "light bulb".