Top Ten benefits of being an amputee.
10. Can easily get a job at IHOP.
9. Leaving only half the total amount of toenail clippings beside the bed increases marital harmony (and toenail clippers last twice as long!).
8. You get twice the wear out of socks (wear once, swap feet, wear again -- repeat at your own risk).
7. You are more likely to survive the next ice age than otherwise whole people (fewer extremities means less overall frostbite).
6. When riding your bicycle, stray dogs that begin to chase you get very confused.
5. When people say "sorry" after stepping on your foot in a dark theater, you can honestly respond "no problem".
4. You don't have to be quite as picky with your appearance as other people (go a day or two without shaving, wear a ball cap instead of brushing your hair, wear a dirty shirt, etc.) as long as you wear shorts because no one will notice anything but your leg.
3. For the clumsy, spraining your ankle becomes a thing of the past.
2. In rattlesnake country, you cut the odds of getting snake bit in half.
1. After seveal tequilia shots, and you are wearing long pants, you can freak out people who don't know you are an amputee by kicking the crap out of hard objects while demonstrating no pain!
TIGER
