**** happens.

Buddhism

If **** happens, it's not really ****.

Islam

If **** happens, it's the will of Allah.

Protestantism

**** happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism

Why does this **** always happen to us?

Hinduism

This **** happened before.

Catholicism

**** happens because you're bad.

Hare Krishna

**** happens rama rama.

T.V. Evangelism

Send more ****.

Atheism

No ****.

Jehova's Witness

Knock knock, **** happens.

Hedonism

There's nothing like a good **** happening.

Christian Science

**** happens in your mind.

Agnosticism

Maybe **** happens, maybe it doesn't.

Rastafarianism

Let's smoke this ****.

Existentialism

What is **** anyway?

Stoicism

This **** doesn't bother me.

That's only true for Arminian Protestants. Those of us of Reformed faith (Calvinists) believe that even the bad things in our lives where put there, or allowed, for a purpose by the will of our all loving God, and that He will even make the things that appear to be bad in our short sightedness, eventually work out for the greater good.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 (NESV)

That's my role here...🍺

L.Ron Hubbard was not a prophet..

DP- do you consider yourself a Calvinist?

Include that and you'll get sued.

A.

Don't forget us Bahai'ans though, we belive in all that chit!

Sincerely,

Rev. Jeremiah Wright

Trinity United Church of Christ

****. Who overcooked the spaghetti?

Xenu is coming for your ****!

Record your sermon !!

wheel,

Scientology; I am the ****.