Yeah, plow, grief and remorse are natural when you are the victimizer. You're taking the right steps. What I need you to do is take a left at being a doormat for the sake of "Oh me". Veer away from being overprotective of other peoples feelings. Stay straight on the path of making sure that you accept your own inability or abilities to maintain and control how you feel as a consequence of other peoples actions. You, and they, are only responsible for their own feelings, not other peoples actions. My recommendation for a behavioral modification take home assignment/project is one that will train your brain to think of the world in a more realistic way. So here goes: Next time you go to the store make sure to hold the door for other people as they go from the store to exiting the store. It is at this point that your work begins. You must say, "Come on in." Do this until someone either obviously gets it or you have to explain it when they ask, "You mean come on out?" To which you free yourself by solidifying your new truth by becoming the teacher of it rather than our little lesson. You respond, "No come on in to the real world." While this activity prescription sounds to be quite clever and only that I assure you, your going to wake up one day and say, "I have landed." and we will all look at you like you are an alien. Because you are. You are alienating yourself. Please, share. Share your feelings with us. Let us know how our actions create feelings in you. Just make sure you own your feelings. Because you can't make us mad. We can only allow you to make us mad. If we don't want to feel that way we need to find it in ourselves to change that. However, like true BOTL/SOTL we are more than willing to accommodate your journey to selflessness if indeed our forgiveness is what you need. Be advised, it may be best to ask for our understanding though. Because some of us may not get angry at what you say because we are in better control of our feelings than to allow a comment or two lay us to ruin. So knuckle up sweet cakes, your journey has only just begun.
Puffnstuff79 wrote:
