TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

CANADIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

I've got no secrets to keep from a cow!

George Washington had cow teeth in his dentures... 😟

INDIAN CAPITALISM - You have 20 cows and let them wander the streets while you work in a call center.

sierra leone capitalism - you have ebola

and the cows don't?

Yeah, pretty much.

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I once castrated a calf that only had one testicle . . .

😟

did you at least give him a reach around..?? 😕

Hard to do it twice.

The American one missed the part where you have to give up 30% of the cows, milk, offspring

And the yet to be developed and not yet approved by the FDA, the Cowabunga 5000 catalytic converter required on all cows by 2016 to reduce gaseous flatulence emissions by 75 percent. All conforming cows shall be liquidated at a loss to Mexico. Milk imports from Mexico are allowed tariff free to help Mexicans. Remaining American cows shall be retrofitted with seat belts and be required to wear a helmet unless riding on a motorcycle.

All kidding aside the methane produced by cows could be an environmental problem.

😟

Dogs too.

yep... that's why we killed off the millions of buffalo roaming the plains a few hundred years ago... to prevent global warming and stuff.... 😟

We also cut down those poorly performing old growth forests so we can replant young trees with higher carbon uptake capability. And now you can get carbon credits for doing it!

and why we use armed force on that bundy dude to protect the fart eating desert tortoise

Al..?? 😕

🤔
What about Mexican capitalism?
Pedro, what do you say?