okay, are you sitting down? Then I will begin, here is the secret recipe for Lars Tetens, that I was given by Arthur Iveabigbottom, author, and well known swell guy. Lars Tetans consist of the finest Camel bladder, whipped into a fondu, seasoned with foot fungus, and baked in a bucket of dung. Now then, how about this fine recipe for the upcoming Acid cigar, "Candied Atmospheric Electricities". These were unveiled at a recent Futurist banquet. These dear and unforgettable 'electricities' looked like little brightly colored bars of marbled soap, containing a sweetish creamy taste made from ingredients that only an exhaustive chemical analysis would be able to define. I have to say, with a journalist's scruple, that only a very few of the banqueters dared to put these bars of soap into their mouths: unfortunately I don't know the name of those daring souls. I say unfortunately because a cluster of heroes like these deserves, at the very least, eternalization in bronze. Next week, I will drop the next bombshell as Lars responds with their "Drumroll of Colonial Fish".

LOL! Have another scotch and call me in the morning...hahaha!

Too f'n funny! Seriously though, the "secret" has been a stalwart scent of hippies and hempers worldwide, ready? It's patchouli. Yes, the very same smell that hippies use to cover the scent of weed all over their bodies.

Disappointed. Ab's explanation was a bit more interesting. Hey, Aberdeen, just where do you get your information from? Must be an unusual bookstore....

Arthur Iveabigbottom? I'm pretty sure that I used to date his sister in college...

it is easy to tell, for his sister has three cheeks in the sitting department.

Aberdeen, funny stuff, I think I read that somewhere. Just understand you may have insulted the lars lovers with your sarasm. Nicely done.