Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."


The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

The guy asks, "Why do you say that?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."

An oldie but a goodie. 🌫

😂

👍

😁

I literally "lol'd"

LMAO!

😂 😂 😂

David (dpnewell)

An Irish guy sits down at the bar.
Bartender comes over and asks what he can get.
The Irish guy says: Pour me a pint and I'll tell you the best Polish joke you've ever heard.
Bartender: Polish joke? You see that big guy down the bar to the left? He's Polish.
Irish dude: Aye.
Bartender: And that gentlemen near the door, standing 6 feet 5 inches? He's Polish.
Irish dude: OK.
Bartender: And I may not be large in stature, but I have the right to throw no-good trouble makers out for good. And I'm 100% Polish!
Irish dude: I see.
Bartender: So, smart guy. Do you want to tell that Polish joke now?
Irish dude: Blimey, no. I don't have nearly enough time to explain it three full times.

[quote=ChristyC@CigarBid]I literally "lol'd"

[/quote]
we'll allow it.

A guy goes into a bar and sees 3 hefty gals sitting at the bar.He detects an Irish accent and asks
the three if they're from Ireland.
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So,are you three whales from Ireland?
That's the last thing I remember..... X 💣

[quote=xibbumbero]A guy goes into a bar and sees 3 hefty gals sitting at the bar.He detects an Irish accent and asks
the three if they're from Ireland.
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So,are you three whales from Ireland?
That's the last thing I remember..... X 💣 [/quote]

Now dats funny..........

What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?

Liam Malone

A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, they all answered 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'

A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'

[quote=jespear]A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, they all answered 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'

A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'[/quote]


😂. Reminds me of the lady looking at frozen turkeys in the market. She ask the clerk if they would get any larger.

The clerk replied, "No mam, they're dead."