I was out on the porch smoking last Saturday when my wife starts hollering for me to come up stairs. The old witch yells a lot but this time she sounded panicked. I was expecting a mouse or spider but when I get up there she’s just pointing at a box of stuff that my stepson Dave had left when he moved in with his girlfriend. I looked at the box and amongst all the other crap in there was this hardcore gay magazine. She starts shrieking about her son being in the closet and she’ll never have grandkids, blah, blah, blah. So I pick it up and start flipping through it and I gotta say it was pretty rough. One pic had a big burly guy smooshing this smaller guy’s face in a pillow while giving it to him from behind. I don’t know what to tell her so I just say don’t worry, Dave is fine but I had no idea why he’d have this or why he’d leave it in our house.

As the day went on she seemed to get over it. But I kept thinking of that guy with the smooshed face. And that night, when wife and I were getting busy I again thought about it. I even tried smooshing her face but she didn’t seem into it. So on Sunday I’m in the yard blowing leaves and I see my neighbor in his yard playing with his cat. He’s sort of slender and a bit effeminate. I never really liked him or his hag wife who clearly wears the pants. She drives a Subara and he a Prius (nuff said). Here’s the embarrassing part. I started imagining smooshing his face in a pillow only this time I’m also repeatedly punching him in the kidneys and biting his back. And yes, it put me into a state of excitement that I didn’t want to be in. So I had to tell someone about this and I guess I feel most comfortable telling you all. I’m sure many of you had your faces smooshed in many pillows. Thanks guys.

thats enough internet for me today

Not to worry Mags.........you’re just having fond memories of your meatings with “Peaches”...

Welcome back Mags. It been way too long.

I see what ya did there... lol

Glad to see ya back Mag......always funny schit.BTW according to Z...."nothing wrong being a back door man"

seems pretty commonplace to me...don't see why you're so uncomfortable with that...

he never said what kind of cigar he was smoking

WHOA.......

An appearance from the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Though I never pictured him packing holiday fudge.

Still legendary...

Well yes, there is that..........I’m guessing a NC Punch Robusto.
Besides, I’m sure Mags is at least a little bit rusty with his prose, which I’m hoping like heck, will continue with maybe a Thanksgiving and/or Christmas tale.

Guess he didn't mention to the wife that him and his step son have been bangin. That's really why he moved out.

You're fine, Mags. We've all been to band camp. You're among friends. Welcome home.

um, I never went to band camp.

It's a euphemism for gay butt seks, Frank. Just trying to make Mags feel welcome

peoples never see your nice side.

Same as Jewish Summer Camp Frank...…..except none of the boys have foreskin for the girls,OR BOYS,to complain about.

Huh?

If I had gone to band camp, I would have played the drums...

... not the skin flute.

Lol! What about camping? Ya wanna go????

Ah, I get it.
Thanks.