You can stay single and be miserable,

Or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong

finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted"

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she

is finished.

A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still

paying."

A young son asked,

"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got

married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over

intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk

in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go

through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still

alive."

A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man ,

to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for

his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll just beat him to death.