Beating the Bishop - the act of assaulting a member of the Catholic clergy

Polishing the Helmet - an activity that the equipment manager of a football team might engage in

Jerkin the Gherkin - A method of pickle preparation in which the pickle is marinated in a slurry of Carribean spices, then grilled.

Shaking Hands with the Unemployed - the act of greeting a jobless fellow

Spanking the monkey: The act of punishment against an unruly member of the various long-tailed, medium-sized members of the order Primates, including the macaques, baboons, guenons, capuchins, marmosets, and tamarins and excluding the anthropoid apes and the prosimians.

Choking the Chicken - the act of suffocating a member of the poultry family. Often occurs immediately prior to frying the chicken.

Coming Unscrewed - This is what happened when your equipment is not periodically serviced.

up in smoke the act of you know what I mean

Tickling the Purple Starfish - a technique used by South Pacific starfish divers to coax the large purple starfish, a delicacy, from its underwater lair.

Moving from the "gratification" innuendo theme to football...

Definition: Edgerrin

Something your gardener does after he's finished mowing the lawn and trimming the hedges.

save a tree eat a beaver

Tossing Off - this is the act of gently throwing a can bug spray to someone

Boppin' yer baloney - the act of slapping your lunch meat. Ostensibly for tenderization purposes.

A date with Rosy Palm - Dinner and a movie with a lady friend of the same name.

A date with Tom Thumb - Dinner and a movie with a male friend... if you're so inclined.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Makin' MANaise - Done in the privacy of once kitchen in which a male chef will whip egg whites and oil to produce a sandwich spred.

Waxing the Buick - Ummm.......you know.....waxing the Buick.

Wax on....Wack off

Floggin' the Dolphin - Whippin' Flipper

Bloody told me that one...

Wiping The Pipe