Jesus Saves - Gretsky gets the rebound and scores!

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Behind The Music: Rock And Roll Heaven

Jim Morrison.....Val Kilmer
Jesus.....Will Ferrell
Fan #1.....Chris Kattan
Fan #2.....Rachel Dratch
Jimi Hendrix.....Jimmy Minor
Janis Joplin.....Molly Shannon
Buddy Holly.....Jimmy Fallon
Louis Armostrong.....Tracy Morgan
Keith Moon.....Horatio Sanz
Amelia Earhart.....Ana Gasteyer


Announcer: There's an old saying in music, and it goes like this: "If there's a rock and roll heaven, you know they've gotta have a hell of a band." Well, tonight, we'll explore this phenomenon, as we go up through the clouds, onto the stages, and behind the music of Rock and Roll Heaven.

Heaven. And every day, thousands of young hopefuls arrive by bus accidents, or other means, all vying for one thing - to make it big. But for the recently dead Jim Morrison, Heaven was proving to be anything but.

Jim Morrison: When I first got here, I was, like, "Whoa, it's like 'Candid Camera', man. I thought for sure I was going to Hell - one of God's little tricks. Anyway, I was thinking about some sort of revenge, so I decided to start a supergroup.

Narrator: And Morrison chose his super group wisely. On leads guitar, Jimi Hendrix; harmony vocals, Janis Joplin; on drums, the legendary Keith Moon; Morrison recruited the great Buddy Holly on rhythm guitar; and, finally, a Wild Card - Louis Armstrong on trumpet. They were to be the greatest band of all time, and they called themselves The Great Frog Society.

[ show "Exclusive Rehearsal Footage" of The Great Frog Society ]
Jim Morrison: [ singing ]
"And now, I've broke on through
Well, I've still got a question for you:
Now we're on the other side
What do we do, now that we've died?
Not this side, the other side
Not this side, the adjacent side
Yeah!"

[ Louis Armstrong steps forward for his trumpet solo ]

Narrator: Luckily for the band, in the audience, at one of their earlier performances, was record producer, and Son of God, Jesus.

Jesus: When I first heard The Great Frog Society, I was, like, "Oh.. my.. Dad!" I signed them immediately!

Narrator: Their first release, "Mourn The Great Frog Society", was an immediate success. And, from the start, the band was the talk of Heaven.

Fan #1: The Great Frog Society is the best band ever!

Fan #2: Oh, my God! They're the best! The best ever!

Narrator: But offstage things were falling apart..

Announcer: [ over SUPER ] "But offstage things were falling apart," is a registered trademark of VH1 and "Behind the Music."

[ show beginning downfall of the band ]

Narrator: The immense success of the band led to in-fighting, and a clash of egos.

Jimi Hendrix: I gotta tell you, man.. your vibes are really bumming me out.

Jim Morrison: No, man. I'm The Great Frog Society guy, man. I can do anything.

Jimi Hendrix: Now, see? That's what I'm talking about, man!

Janis Joplin: Man, we're here for the music, you know?

Buddy Holly: Well, I'll tell you this much.. if this doesn't get any better, than I qui-i-i-it!

Louis Armstrong: Hey, everybody? Why all the fussing and fighting? Every time I get mad, I just sing a song! Wop-bop-a-lu-bop..!

Keith Moon: [ bangs drums ] That's it! I quit! [ runs out of studio ]

Narrator: Adding to the mounting pressure was the band's increasing frustration with Morrison's new girlfriend, famed aviatrix, Amelia Earheart.

Jim Morrison: Hey, guys. This is my gal, Amelia. Sing your song - she wrote it, it's great. Listen.

[ other band members groan ]

Amelia Earhart: [ singing ]
"Hey, Guy, don't you know you have my heart?
Lucky guy, you're my forever guy
Okay guy!"

Louis Armstrong: That's awful.

Janis Joplin: I'm outta here.

Louis Armstrong: That's awful!

[ they all leave in disgust ]

Narrator: But the worst news was yet to come, when, on January 28th, 1982, Jim Morrison received a phone call informing him that his bandmate and longtime friend Buddy Holly had been reincarnated as a sheep.

Jim Morrison: When we lost Buddy, man, I just.. is it recording? No music, man.. No Doors.. [ close-up ] I think I'm having a nervous breakdown..

Narrator: Dubbed "The Day The Music Was Reincarnated", it proved to be a death knell for the band. It was the end of The Great Frog Society. And, for the next few years, the band members went their separate ways. Jim Morrison was reincarnated as this little girl; Jimi Hendrix became a businessman; Janis Joplin came back as a sumo wrestler; and Louis Armstrong became a tree stump. But The Great Frog Society are nothing, if not survivors. And we end tonight's "Behind The Music" with exclusive footage of the surviving members' reunion, as they perform The Doors' classic "The End". For The Great Frog Society, it's most definitely the beginning.

[ as credits roll, show Little Girl and other reincarnated band members singing "The End" ]

Little Girl: "This is the end, my only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother.. I want to.. auggghhhh!!!"

[ fade to black ]

Great. Another Copy-n-paste from FuzzNJ.

very relevant. i have an old friend from high school that was just elected state rep (liberal). he is 28, his daddy bought him an ambulance service and a used car dealership. he lives in a 3 story house by himself and has probably never balanced his checkbook in his life. Im sure he will do great things......

I bet he eats a lot of those instant pudding cups and plays XBox 360

You could be in line for an ambassadorship!

Jesus’ best business venture was Cheeses Crust Pizza – FREE 10 CONDIMENTS with any order!

That was Cheeses not Jesus ^^

His original company was Cheeses of Nazareth . . . . .

I think the pictures of Jesus are hilarious. Anyone who thinks he looks like a young, bearded, long-haired Richard Gere are nuts. Well, also those who think he's the 'son of god', but that's another thing.

I like to think of Jesus like a muscular trapeze artist.

Mmmm, divinity gayness.

And YOU know what he looks like? When did you see him last?

lol, I know he didn't look western European, which is what the pictures we see today are representative of and painted centuries later. You really think this is a point worth arguing over?

In the future I guess I need ask your permission to disagree, or I can just give you a pat on the head and concede your opinions are valid.

Really? You give opinions and and do I ask if I need permission to disagree? Grow up and just discuss. Give your opinions, I'll give mine, and quit acting like a baby. WTF is with this pat on the head BS. People who disagree just do and discuss, no need to say that kind of BS. State your position, listen to the other person's position, and rebut. If you can't handle that, then just freakin' leave.

Literally laughing out loud at this. Pat on the head and valid reference is from your "clever" post in the teacher morality thread, so there. ; )

You don't like someone tossing your own words back at you, you just freakin' leave. Me I'm staying right where I am and there is nothing you can do. LOL


Childish previous 2 sentences are for effect. (the grow up reference)


And were fun...


You do get your self all worked up over such minor stuff. Guess lecturing me makes you feel all good again, so be it I don't care if you over react.

So you are thinking that I am the one who took this thread off topic with my response? lmao.

This thread, like most are doomed to veer off topic in an instant, this thread is a prime example, no?

Quite a few threads are started to evoke knee jerk reactions, the tactic appears to work well for some ; )


Alas such is the way of online forums...


Back to topic, yes he does forgive the Liberals.

Its his way after all.

I still think it's funny that when someone disagrees with you, you resort to:

"In the future I guess I need ask your permission to disagree, or I can just give you a pat on the head and concede your opinions are valid."

When I used something similar to criticize the right wingers here who just can't stand hearing an opposing view. It just proves the point, imho. I never said I need to ask your permission, that was your addition, and something I've heard before, which is why I made the statement in the first place. You guys are just too damn predictable.

Oh, and I have nothing to be 'forgiven' for. Jesus is dead, he wasn't god, there is no god and I will not be punished once I die and you will not be either punished or rewarded after you die either.