Okay, 1) if you miss me, just say so! No need to get all slap-happy!
2) it appears to have gone missing before it ever made it to poky...which does not necessarily preclude the fact that our PO sucks.
((((Ahem...)))
'Twas the day before Christmas and all through the town
not a kid had had recess
because temps were down
And I in my polar fleece
and "festive" foul mood
was silently screaming
"WILL YOU JUST STOP *&^%! LICKING THINGS THAT AREN'T FOOD!!!!"
When what should my stress-ringing ears then hear
but the "ding!" of an iPhone
from the pocket on my rear.
ZRX was excited
"THEY FOUND IT!" he said
"Package out for delivery!
Someone finally pulled out his head!"
It had been due on Monday
and poor Z was stressed
because Lloyd the new mail-cow
was not exactly the best.
As I looked 'round the classroom
at the cherubic faces
I said to da boss lady,
"seriously, I have a whopping FOUR kids from my class today, we've combined with three other classes and still have just EIGHT kids and four teachers, and while those are pretty fabulous ratios and I really do love having more one on one time with my kiddos, thanks to sub-zero temps we haven't had outside recess ALL FREAKING WEEK and I'm ready to just poke myself in the eye with a pointy stick; we should really just send two, possibly three people home.
I volunteer as tribute."
So I laced up my snow boots
and trudged down the road
to spy Lloyd in his mail truck
with a big Christmas load
(yeah, LLOYD is a big load...but his ugly Christmas sweaters are MAJESTIC.)
In the holiday sweater
as green as boiled kale
Lloyd informed me that he
could not give me my mail.
"You must wait," he declared
with a pompous "ho ho"
"'til I close up the mailbox.
Just wait there in the snow."
As I stood there scowling
at Lloyd and his sack
we both heard from his truck
ominous ticking in back.
"What the hell???" howled Lloyd
as he turned with a jerk
Okay...he used more expletives
but they were NSFW.
He hurled the package
nutmeg-scented and rumbling
toward my porch, then he fled
'cross the ice, all a-fumbling (that's a new word. Made it up just now. Suck it, Webster's.)
I took it inside as I gritted my teeth
and the smoke, it encircled the box
like a wreath.
And laying the scissors
aside of the seal
and giving a snip
POOF! went the whole deal!
A cinnamon cloud
burst forth from the box!
And inside, I saw
a lovely La Nox!
And a Tat Cojonu, and a Mr.Sam corona (that's new...and winter-size!) and a lovely anejo and ONE FAT LITTLE #9 PIGGIE!!!!! Where do you keep finding these things??? Now I almost (ALMOST) feel guilty about telling boyo that the whole top shelf was his to take but if he touched my last piggie I'd break his fingers because it was the LAST...
Still not gonna share it LOL!
And a Christmas picture of Jamie and his beautiful family...I'll repeat what I told you earlier: I am of the opinion that you BOTH have a keeper on your hands, my friend! Much love to Medford! THANK YOU, JAMIE!
Edited by user
9 years ago |
Reason: Not specified
