Oh man,

If we counting close calls I need to go get all the neighbors and have em all take off their shoes so I'll have enough toes to count.

Lets see, there was this fat girl I almost married that I never met.

This one time I woke up with a goat trying to get in my bed.

Then there was this time I almost picked up a girl at the gym and come to find out it was just Victor waiting on a towel. That was a bad one 🤦