Leo Rosten, the great writer and authority on Jewish humor, suggested one of the key characteristics of Jewish humor is revenge over the oppressor by the use of guile or circumstance.

This is such a story:

Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig and menacingly says,
“Thanks Jew Boy, whatcha gonna do about it?"

Moshe burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying. What’s your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Moshe says. "I'm a complete failure. “I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. “When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. "I left my wallet in the cab I took home. “I found my wife in bed with the postman and then my dog bit me. “So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

“I buy a drink; drop a capsule in the glass and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
then you show up and drink the whole thing! “But enough about me, how's your day going?"

badaboooom... tishshshshshshshshshhhhhhh!

Here's an oldie, but it gets screams at the mausoleum

How many beans does it take to make Irish soup?

Answer: (hint: read phonetically for the full experience)

Two hondred and thartynien beans, coz one marr would mek it two farty.

Jewish man on his death bed smells noodle kugel. His daughter is dutifully there. He says, "I smell kugel". And she says, "yeah, Mom is making some". The curtain is just about to fall. He's on his last breaths. And he says, "just to taste Kugel once before I die". And she says, "of course, Daddy".

She runs into the kitchen, gets back, sits down, and folds her hands. He says - barely even able to say the words - "where's the kugel?" And she says, "Mom says it's for after".

[quote=MACS]Jewish man on his death bed smells noodle kugel. His daughter is dutifully there. He says, "I smell kugel". And she says, "yeah, Mom is making some". The curtain is just about to fall. He's on his last breaths. And he says, "just to taste Kugel once before I die". And she says, "of course, Daddy".

She runs into the kitchen, gets back, sits down, and folds her hands. He says - barely even able to say the words - "where's the kugel?" And she says, "Mom says it's for after".[/quote]
one of the greatest jokes any culture has evah birthed...but you need to say "Mom said no. It's for the shiva".

[quote=frankj1]one of the greatest jokes any culture has evah birthed...but you need to say "Mom said no. It's for the shiva".[/quote]

Not nice to toy with a well meaning goy.

So the waiter asked "Was anything alright?"

Classic! 😂

MACS, my wife wants to know why I am laughing so hard!

😁

Oy Vey! I'm outraged

i like it
i like it very much

Always liked the one about the Jewish wife finally giving her cremated husband that BJ he always wanted.

[quote=deadeyedick]Always liked the one about the Jewish wife finally giving her cremated husband that BJ he always wanted. [/quote]

Yes. Another classic.

[quote=frankj1]Leo Rosten, the great writer and authority on Jewish humor, suggested one of the key characteristics of Jewish humor is revenge over the oppressor by the use of guile or circumstance.

This is such a story:

Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig and menacingly says,
“Thanks Jew Boy, whatcha gonna do about it?"

Moshe burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying. What’s your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Moshe says. "I'm a complete failure. “I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. “When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. "I left my wallet in the cab I took home. “I found my wife in bed with the postman and then my dog bit me. “So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

“I buy a drink; drop a capsule in the glass and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
then you show up and drink the whole thing! “But enough about me, how's your day going?"
[/quote]

I had NOTHING to do with this, Frankie T ! 🤐

[quote=MACS]Jewish man on his death bed smells noodle kugel. His daughter is dutifully there. He says, "I smell kugel". And she says, "yeah, Mom is making some". The curtain is just about to fall. He's on his last breaths. And he says, "just to taste Kugel once before I die". And she says, "of course, Daddy".

She runs into the kitchen, gets back, sits down, and folds her hands. He says - barely even able to say the words - "where's the kugel?" And she says, "Mom says it's for after".[/quote]
[whip]

At a fundraiser in Washington DC, a man sees Neal Armstrong, and approaches him.
"Excuse me, Mr Armstrong, but I just have to tell you what an inspiration your words,
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN. ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND
have been to me."
Mr Armstrong replies, "Well, I never said those words. They were dubbed in by NASA afterwards. What I ACTUALLY said was,
HERE'S TO YOU, HEIME GOLDBERG."
The man says, 'Heime Goldberg ? Who is that ?"
Neal answers, Heime was my neighbor, when I was in college, and one night I heard his wife say to him,
"Man will walk on the moon before I let you stick that thing in my mouth !"

[frypan] [frypan] [frypan]

Why are most synagogue round?


So nobody can hide or say NIEN.

[quote=jespear]I had NOTHING to do with this, Frankie T ! 🤐 [/quote]
I did send it to you first, didn't I?