Thanks to all of you for always showing a great sense of humor...I'm really into that.

When things get bumpy and I need a diversion, this is the first place I look (other than Mike) for advice, info, and just plain old fun...

This past Sunday (the 15th) my 71 year old dad had a stroke and I drove as fast as I could to get to him.

He lives just outside of Las Vegas and it took me just under 4 hours to get there from San Diego.

I don't know any of your experiences with loved ones that have had a stroke, but it was the most traumatizing thing that has happened to me in years...he refused to go to the hospital and we (my stepmother, daughter and I) finally got him into the car on Monday morning.

Luckily, it wasn't a 'bleeding' stroke. And he may make a good recovery...that is IF they can get his irregular heartbeat under control...

He's a fighter (like me - or vice versa!) and has already tried to remove the tubes and equipment to go home...and since he has alzheimer's, he isn't sure why he's in the hospital...it's terrible.

I had to come home Tuesday night so my daughter could get back to work and I could catch up on some things at home, but I'm going back...I don't know what to do, but feel I need to be there for my stepmom...she's frantic...she thinks that maybe he isn't so bad since he isn't in ICU, but in what they call intermediate care...I dunno...

I hope he comes home. He doesn't look good...

I just needed to sound off and know that you'll think good thoughts or say a prayer for him...I can always count on you guys for support!

If you have ANY suggestions as to what I can ask the doctors or what direction we need to be going in...PLEASE let me know...I'm completely at a loss here...

Thank you!

Marla

I put him and your family in my prayers.

Ditto

All the best, M ... to you and all of yours

I hope he makes a speedy recovery.

Best to you and your family e-chick! May he have a speedy recovery! God Bless

Charlie

May God Bless him and your family M....

Best Wishes! to you and your Dad.
Dad's are great. I know mine is.

Clark

Marla, very sorry to hear of this situation with your dad. I will surely be in prayer for his recovery, and for you and your other family members as well. It's so difficult when life's normal routines are broken into pieces by such difficult circumstances. My extended family has gone through numerous similar situations in the past few years. I know how scary and unsettling it is when folks we care about are striken by ill health.

For some practical suggestions, you might try calling an agency that used to be associated with my workplace. It's called the Center for Aging Resources and located in Pasadena. In addition to providing direct services, they have a lot of information on issues pertaining to elder care and such. Perhaps they can put you in touch with resources in your area. Their number is (626) 577-8480.

All the best,

Dan

Marla,

I am very sorry to hear your dad has taken ill.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I have found inspiring thoughts on this web site.
www.thesojourners.org
I hope you and others will use it in time of need.

In the mean time, the one I have copied and pasted here has helped me.

Beatitudes For The Aged

Blessed are they who understand,
My faltering step and palsied hand.

Blessed are they who seem to know,
That my eyes are dim and my wits are slow.

Blessed are they who know today,
My ears must strain to hear what they say.

Blessed are they who looked away,
When coffee spilled on the table today.

Blessed are they with a cheery smile,
Who stopped by to chat for a little while.

Blessed are they who never say,
"You’ve told that story twice today".

Blessed are they who know the ways,
To bring back memories of yesterdays.

Blessed are they who make it known,
That I’m love, respected, and not alone.

Blessed are they who sense I’m at a loss,
To find the strength to carry the Cross.

Blessed are they who ease the days,
On my journey Home in loving ways.

Esther Mary Walker

Marla, So sorry about your dad. My dad also has alzheimer's. He has also had some setbacks during his illness. I will pray for your dad. I'm a lector at my church. If you would like, I can add his name to a special intentions prayer at Mass for you. Just let me know His name. There is power in prayer! It doesnt matter what religion you may be. Good luck.

Sincerly Mike(Mag)

I'm so touched...you all are really great!

I know that God's will is at hand and He alone knows the reasons...but I absolutely have a deep faith and know first hand the power of prayer and others interceeding on someones behalf...

My dad's name is Wayne...he has always been a very private person (unlike me) and I wouldn't feel comfortable giving his full name. I know he would hate to know that I even told you about the situation.

But I know that even though we are all not close and intimate friends in the sense that we do not see each other in person...that we are still a truly amazing, if not unheard of in the internet world, band of brothers (yeah, and a few sisters) that do care about one another and our wellbeing...and when there's a need, we are there for each other.

I'm astounded. I didn't mean to bring such a bummer to this site, but I need the support.

Thank you for your concerns and prayers...I think I may be going back tonight or in the morning...

Marla

E-Chick,I'll pray for him and you to get through this. Think positive thoughts and postive things happen. Best of luck. X

As the (maybe only, mabe not) resident C-bid Ordained Minister, I have been with lots of folks going through what you are with your Dad and have been there with both my Dad, Stepdad, and Father-in-Law.

It is just hard to be miles away while someone you love is struggling... And then have to leave while they are still hospitalized...

All I can say is that you did what is best -- that's to go be with him and to let him know you love him. That seems like a passive thing to do and seomtimes people feel powerless. Let me say that from my perspective it is not passive and it is very powerful! People in your Dad's condition tell me all the time what it means to have their kids and loved ones by their side, even for a short time. I am sure it strengthened him.

If I get to live long enough to deal with the inevitable struggles of the body, I want my kids to do what you did! I would mean the world to me and I am sure it did for your Dad.

I add my prayers and best thoughts to the many others expressed here.

Take a deep breath, smoke a good one, relax and surrender your thoughts and prayers. And be grateful for every presious minute of life...

May God, who hold us all in eternal, inescabable love, be with you.

Dr. Mike Gardner
[email protected]

Marla, When I first read your thread last evening, really did not know what to say but wanted to add. So I took a couple of my better cigars and headed to a favorite establishment. On the way I took time to reflect on what you are going through and what is going on with my Dad. After silently weeping for a moment, even guys do that.. regained focus and walked in. The friend I went to meet had a stroke last year. I didn't mention your situation but rather asked him about his. He came through after a bi-pass and stroke without complications and weights well more than he needs too. You and your family are in my prayers!
RJ

🙂

Thanks again guys...after speaking with my step-mom today, she told me to hold off from coming up until a few more days pass and we know more.

They seem to have gotten his heart arrhythmia (sp?) under control and now need to see where his other tests land...I think that he may have had another stroke. They won't tell me or my brother anything, only my step-mom. It's nearly impossible to reach his doctor's and we are all frustrated.

If he was stable enough, I'd drive him down here to the V.A. in La Jolla. They have always taken great care of him there AND without the attitudes that these nurses in the private hospital have. I'm stunned at the lack of caring that several of his current nurses and doctor's have.

I'm feeling strange and guilty about not being there, but I can't put everything onto Mike and expect him to work, pick up our son from school/wrestling, do the biz paperwork, pay the bills and keep up with the laundry (our daughter works full time too and it's a lot to ask of her too) in addition to everything else and Christmas on top of that...

I can't expect my step-mom to handle this all on her own either...I'm exhausted and frustrated.

So she wants me to drive back up this weekend to see what to do in the long run. That means traffic...2 lanes heading to Vegas most of the way and now there'll be additional cars due to the holiday...I hate to be on the road, especially in my frame of mind.

Flying is out not because of money, only because I'd prefer to have my own car while there (although I guess I could rent one)...and who knows if flights are available...I'm ranting on, so I'll stop here...

Thanks for hearing me out. I want thank you for all of the support and great info, and hope to report some good news soon...

my family will be thinking of yours. Hope your dad makes a full and speedy recovery.

Very sorry to hear of your dads troubles Marla.

Prayers sent.

I can understand the pain your dealing with. Right now my grandfather is sitting in the hospital under gods hands. I look up to and respect him almost more than anyone. He is so strong! Within the last few days he has survived 4 heart attacks and still holding his own. He is 87 years old and all he cares about is going home to take care of my grandmother. I respect this man so much and hope one day i will be as good of a friend/father/husband as he is. E-chick my prayers are with you.-Drew