Marla, I very seldom come to the misc. boards, and have only infrequently posted on the other boards, but something drew me here today. I lost my Dad 11 years ago and always think of him more often this time of year. I remember our family struggles when I was young, and my Dad selling Christmas trees so we could have some presents. He was ill for a long time before he passed so I had a long time to think about our relationship. I gave my dads eulogy, and after reading for a few moments from a prepared statement I stopped and spoke from the heart words that summed up my relationship, and most parent and child relationships. I told everyone how much I hated them when I was growing up, because my Dad always out helping them so the time we had together was cuyt short. My father was was an incredible carpenter and knew a lot about all other aspects of the building trades. I told them how jealous I was of the time they spent with him that I didn't. I then went on to say that I forgave them for my jealousy because as I got older I learned a secret that came to sustain me when my father passed. Actually I learned this lesson from an episode of Star Trek. You see, our lives are actually a tapestry. Each memory, each touch, each encounter, adds a thread to that tapestry. Who you are, what you think, how you behave, is the sum total of all those threads. That is why no two people are exactly the same. The threads your father created began when you were born, and continued to the day he died. In short, your father will contine to live as long as you do. actually even longer since you pass some of your threads to your children and everyone you meet. In my case, I realized that when my father was doing things for others, in the brief time we were together he was showing me how to do them for myself. He'll always be a part of me, as your Dad will always be a part of you. I could go on for ever on this subject, but it would take you an eternity to read. I hope what I have said is some consolation to you, and that I haven't rambled too much. You will be in my families prayers this holiday season.
Phil.
