I'm not going to plagiarize .... just list a infamous e-mail supposedly sent by George Carlin followed by the real low-down from snopes.com:
"I'm A Bad American" - by George Carlin
"I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it! I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college,you haven't begun to be enlightened. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God. My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. I thinkglobal warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-****-up already. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
These people should be targets. I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again. I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States. If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!"
Origin quoted from Snopes.com:
Origins: Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to humorist George Carlin these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write. Carlin may sometimes use the format of stringing together a few dozen pithy comments about a wide variety of topical subjects, but the tone of his humor is nothing like this reactionary piece. If any doubt remained, Carlin himself swept it away by announcing on his web site that he is not the author of the article.
If not Carlin, then who did write it? This piece has also been credited to a number of decidedly conservative, outspoken media figures, such as rock star Ted Nugent, talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, and actor-comedian Denis Leary, but the even if the article may seem to echo the political opinions of these men, it doesn't quite match any of them, nor does the language used sound quite right for any of these figures. (Leary, like Carlin, has been credited with creating some other Internet favorites, such as a vituperative discourse on e-mail chain letters and the "Are You Man Enough?" essay.
This essay appeared in the FreeRepublic.com on-line forum back in September 2000 under the title "I Am a Bad Republican" (picking up title changes and additions since then as it was forwarded around the Internet), and the person who posted it there has taken credit for it in a recent message in that same forum.
Last updated: 11 June 2001