Nothing like a little self deprecation...


So this father gets his son bass lessons. He picks up the boy from his first lesson. On the way home he asks, "So what did you learn today, boy?"

The kid shows his old man his axe and answers, "You see this string here dad, that's the "A" string."

"Great!" His father answers.

A few days later the father picks up his son from lesson 2. Again he inquires how it went. The son replies, "You see this string dad, well that's the "E" string."

"Great!" His father replies.

A few more days go by and the father asks his son, "Are you ready for me to take you to your bass lesson?"

To which the son replies, "Not tonight, dad. I gotta' gig."

how true.

I didnt know fish had strings

If only rhythm and soul were that easy to acquire (if it can in fact be acquired at all)!!!

That was pure genious, Beat. Taking the word out of context like that and coming up with something that was so hilarious.

Seriously, dude I'm disappointed. You're reachin'. You can do better so bring it!

Hugs

I was keepin it simple for ya...

You know, with your "problem" and all.

You must have taken yer meds today.

I thought meds were a prerequisite to play Bass.

That is one of my favorite musician jokes. I had a show on Saturday night and I used all five strings on my bass. The A the E, some big fat one, and two others. Of course they didn't go over those strings in my lessons so I don't know what they are called.

Why just stop at Bass Players, I used to play???

How do you get a musician off your front porch????
Pay for the pizza.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend???
Homeless

How do you know that the stage is level?????
The drool is coming out both sides of the drummers mouth.

How many lead singers, does it take to change a lightbulb????
One. They just hold the bulb, and the whole world revolves around them.

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb????
Six. One to change the bulb, and five to bitch, that it's electric.

Have a great day.
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)

What do you call the woman on a bass players arm?

A tattoo.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to change it, and four to say they could have done it better.

Cigarick,

I'm sorry. I'm afraid that qualifies only as a guitar player joke.

That is right. Besides, changing light bulbs is the production crew's job. Not the bass player's.

Sketch,

Correct me if I'm wrong, which of course you will because you bass players are a insecure lot. You know, not talented enough to play guitar, not enough rhythm to play drums, but is it not a bass GUITAR that is your instrument of choice? Or do you differentiate as to not damage your ailing psyche's?

But what the hell do I know, Im just an ugly D.A.D. that needs more beauty sleep.

Thats right plabaonte, ya really dont need to clutter up the bassists mind with all that technical gobleygook.

You know how to tell when there's a bass player knocking at the door?

He doesn't know when to come in.