I was astounded, dumbfounded, dumbstruck, astonished, totally startled and surprised when I got home today. There, on my porch, lurking behind my frightened looking potted ficus tree whose leaves bore some singe marks on their fragile edges, sat an ominous looking box...a scary looking box...a box that gave off an aura that felt like "don't mess with me."

It slowly dawned on me what was about to happen when I noticed the return address: (cue scary music) Marion IN, home of the infamous Princess Julesiepoo, boileremt, heiress to the throne of DaQueenBee. My mind raced back to last week, when I was bored and looking through some threads in the Trades section. I stumbled across the "PIB/Wants 2012 v3" thread and noticed that Jules and DQB were mixing it up with illilni, Bur, ZRX, mikey, and frozenphoenix.

I thought to myself that boileremt and DQB have always been entertaining reading. They both can really turn some phrases and create graphic images out of text. I've shared some moments here with DQB over the past few years, as she is a schoolteacher like my wife, and her stories struck some chords with my experience living with an educator. So, I thought it would be fun to look in and see what was going on.

The atmosphere felt jocular: ZRX had just gifted his turn to DQB, who was required to post her list of cigars that she wants. I joined in on the fun, taunting DQB about her lack of diligence in posting her desires. I failed to recognize the gravity of the circumstances. The Queen was in full HRH (beast) mode, having suffered a torturous day with her new class of combative delinquents.

The clue I saw but missed entirely: the Queen was in the midst of consuming a 3 LITER box of wine! I didn't give it a thought when she ordered her Princess to deal with the annoying rabble at the gate...(insert the tophat wearing cigar smoking skull)

Over the next few days, I went about my business, looking into some other stuff on the boards...paying scant attention. I checked the progress of the Premium Box-pass stinger is doing, sent off an appreciation for trade package to euodias and then focused on the Fantasy Football league my son conned me into...checked the NCAA College Pick'em Pool (don't ask)... signed up for the NASCAR Chase Contest coolbreze (chazbo?) started...put in for the lottery game rrumba is doing...hmmm...wonder if I have a gambling issue...

Frantically...I check back here to see if this is really happening...and there it is! A thread I missed. Boileremt's request...no demand... for addys..........from last Friday.....I read her OP and am shocked to see my innocent name appearing on the list of soon to be departed. A hot sweat oozes while I feel a chill going up and then down my spine.

With trembling hands, I opened the box and nearly fell over. I stifled a whimper as I saw a ziplock that held 6 Donkey Droppings....you kidding me, right???...6 DONKEY DROPPINGS!!!!!! I thought I would never see these again, having smoked my last nearly a year ago. The bleeding has just begun...

The next bag had 6 Pedro's Pearls de Don Pepin/Flor de Pedros, 3 robbies and 3 belicosos...my jaw aches from the blow...

I was floored by the next punch...a Chillin' Moose (she's mocking me as I lay in an expanding pool of crimson), Anejo Shark, John Hay Anniversary Series 2007, Tat La Verite 2009, Viaje Skull and Bones FOAB, Fuente Hemingway Classic Sun Grown (thought I'd never see one of these, they're so rare, maybe I'm seeing things)

Barely conscious, I hear the whistle and then the cracking pain of a kick to the ribs...Torano Tribute 2008, LP #9 toro, LP T52 rob, Illusione Singulare EL Phantom '10, Partagas 8-9-8 Habana, and a cudgel of a cigar-6.5 x 62 unbanded.

Within an inch of my life...I imagine all the pleasant things that have happened and the people I have known...and barely visualize the 2 Viaje Platinos, the My Father Flor de Las Antilles, La Aurora 100 Anos preferido, Tobacco Baez, and the coup de grace, a Padilla Signature 1932 Edicion Limatada 2009 salomon. As I breathe shallowly, a fish swims by...

I can only ask for forgiveness, as .........

Rip delta... At least he got to die around some great smokes... Phenomenal hit on a phenomenal recipient...

Al was a good man.

Epic hit.

He deserves the pain. And more as far as I'm concerned.




He called me Chazbo.




Well done!!!

Haha Al, I slipped on the same pile of moose droppings.

They may be crazy, but i too now respect their crazy.

Oh no, I don't think Mommie Dearest really wanted the rabble rousers destroyed. Chastised, discouraged, roughed up maybe, but execution was not actually intended. Ah well, I will probably get a timeout. And denied access to the royal spa for a day. One must learn to cope with adversity when one is royalty.

My apologies for the inadvertent demise of delta1. He seemed like a decent chap until the recent disturbance at the royal palace. It seems we have all had a learning experience here.

I'm gonna miss Delta...was hoping to herf with him one more time - perhaps at one of the RMCFs - so much for that.

But yeah, if you're gonna go down for the count, may as well be bathed in premium smokes.

RIP Al.

Heh heh heh serves that turn gifting azzhat right!

I'm still staring at the carnage he started.

The Manor is scorching us peasants fields right before winter. At least we'll have top shelf smokes for warmth!

I moved.

Really?

Well done ladies another fine target...

Jules throws a mean left hook to the CHIN !
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

He will be missed...

for those interested, I am posting the c-bid shiva schedule



sorry for the hijack, but it is somewhat related to the loss of a great BOTL...