Man I love my wife so much. So , she brings me in a peanut butter jar this morning saying "I can not get this open." She continues with "I have tried till my hand is red, and Gina (my sons girlfriend) has tried and she says it is impossible." So she hands it to me.
Keep in mind, I already am going to screw with her hard, just wasn't sure how I was going to so here is what I do.
I take the jar and sit it on my desk in front of me, I close my eyes like I am concentrating, I take my pointing finger and feel around the top of the lid going in circles, I stop at each 4 corners and give a little push down on the lid just enough to make it give a tiny bit. I then open my eyes and twist the lid as if it is barley on and hand it back to her. Not making a face at all and looking real serious at her, I knew she was going to ask "HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT" Again looking very very serious, I tell her " It is a Native American trick of my people you would not understand " Of course then she is adamant that I explain how I did this.
I go into telling her how you have to concentrate while doing it because you are feeling for the micro thin spots on the lid. As you rub your finger around the lid and you find the spots you then push down just a little on these thin spots. This in turn sort of warps the lid upwards allowing air to get under it thus breaking the seal and the lid comes off very very easy.
She then closes her eyes and starts slowly rubbing around on the lid. By this point I cant keep my composure. I start laughing my ass off. She is like WTF are you laughing at. I had to tell her I am just mucking with you. I just unscrewed the lid no trick to it. She says " WELL! I know you are weak because of your stroke so how in the hell did you just unscrew it like it was barley on. I am really rolling at this point.
I ask her, "Which side do you see me hobble on, which side is weak on me due to the stroke? She goes the left... I then ask which side did I use to open the lid. She stops to think a sec and goes "Damn it the Right you ass hole." I had tears rolling down my face laughing so hard at her being so gullible. As she is storming out of the office I hear FU you fat bassard" OMG I love it so much. I live for this shit! :-" :-" :-"
Ewok126 wrote:
