Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.

'Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, '

And just what do those symbolize?' The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

🇨🇮

An elderly couple learned to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife, a retired college English instructor with emphasis on the
Classics, was an unapologetic romantic; her husband, a retired,
railroader of thirty years, was a no-nonsense guy.



One afternoon the wife went to the local Starbucks to meet a friend for
coffee. While awaiting her friends arrival, she exercised her new skill
by sending her husband a romantic text message: "If you are sleeping, send
me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are
eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are
crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband responded: "I'm takin' a chit. Please advise." 🍺

😂

---

Three nuns die in a car accident and are greeted at The Pearly Gates by St Peter.
He welcomes them and says, "Sisters, before you enter Heaven, there is a test you must pass."
Noticing that the nuns look a bit concerned, he assures them it is just a formality and they will only have to answer one question each to be admitted.
He looks at the first nun and says, "Sister . . . Your question is, Who was the first man ?"
She grins and says, "Oh, that's an easy one. Adam."
He then looks at the second nun and says, "Sister . . . Your question is, Who was the first woman ?"
She chuckles and says, "Oh, that's an easy one. Eve."
He looks at the third nun and says, "Sister . . . Your question is, What was the first thing Eve SAID to Adam ?"
The third nun squints her eyes and thinks for a few seconds and says, "Oh my. THAT'S a hard one."
Saint Peter replies, "That's correct. You may all enter Heaven."

[crapful] [crapful] 😂 😂

Note to self, don't read jokes when you're nursing a broke rib.

Now that's good shiat there keep them coming haha did that for frank

much obliged