or that my real fave movie wasn't on the list...so I shouldna played...

YOU SUCK!

yah...I know, right?

nobody has that movie to rent around here either...

Math jokes, they alway add up to the same.

---

The Count of Montecristo... one of my favorite cigars, too.

An old man hobbled into an ice cream parlor and

pulled himself gently, painfully up onto a stool...

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana

split.

The waitress kindly asked, “crushed nuts?”

“No” he replied, “Arthritis.”

😂

Back in the day the only time we did any panic buying was when the bartender yelled last call.

I always filled my cooler well before last call....🍺
but still did my share of panic buying at last call...8-[

waitress asked, "wanna squirta marshmallow sauce?"

he replied, "sorry honey...got erectile dysfunction"

Immediately thought of TW💓

Q: *What is an Economic Stimulus payment?*
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: *Where will the government get this money?*
A: From taxpayers.

*Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?*
A: Only a smidgen of it.

*Q: What is the purpose of this payment?*
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: *Isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?*
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras,and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Your friendly tax accountant.

Sadly the big beer brands aren’t American owned anymore. 😣

big beer sucks

Well American big beer, maybe... Spaten and Ayinger are big beer in Germany and they are delicious! So, I uh... guess Germany can look forward to my stimulus check. 🍺

All depends on your perspective.
There’s a story behind that, but me tired...

But I've never seen the movie "The Love of Black C o c k" 😕

Call 888-388-2683 and they will send you a free DVD.